When It Isn't Like It Should Be
by celineherondale
Summary: Peyton leaves Lucas at the alter. Brooke has to deal with both Lucas and Peyton's heartbreaks, but will her own break in the process for the blue-eyed blonde?
1. This Is How It Goes

This is something I actually thought of when I was bored. It's sorta my first OTH story. The other one I sort of lost interest in, though I was sad to see it go. But here this one goes. Let's hope it's a better fate than the other one. ;] Oh, Brooke and Julian aren't together in this. Just clearing it up.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters of OTH or OTH itself. It all belongs to Mark...who selfishly decided to put Leyton together when everyone knows it should be Brucas.

**Summery: **My take on the Leyton wedding....whenever it's gonna happen.**[Brooke's POV most of the time]**

**This is How it Goes**

It all seemed like deja vu. Getting ready for what's supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime event ever in a person's life. Of course, for the people this occasion was actually for, one of them had actually gone through it once already. It didn't end so well. Everyone thought this was going to be different though, different girl, different ending. Well, that's what was hoped.

I decided not to wear the same thing I wore the first time around, of course, Brooke Davis is never one to wear a, most of the time, formal outfit twice. I was never one to believe in superstitions, but still, it could be some sort of bad luck. Instead of the burgundy strapless, this time it was a strapless, very light purple with a sweetheart neckline and trumpet skirt all in satin. Courtesy of being the Maid of Honor. Nice, huh? But this was always expected. The bride after all is my best friend, has been since we were nine. This was always coming. I strapped on the silver heels I had gotten to match the dress, and I must say, the did splash in nicely with the color of the dress. My hair, seeing as it had grown, was pulled up onto a twisted bun, two strands of hair falling down my side that were curled. My make up, the simplest touch of light purple eyeshadow, blush, and the lightest touch of pink, almost clear, lip gloss was probably what completed it all.

The church was decorated nicely as far as I could tell once I arrived there. There were white satin places going along the rows of pews that were already filled with people. The flowers at the front of the alter were white, but also stood out from everything else that was white. Everyone was dressed up, of course, it'd be a bit rude to come to a wedding in jeans and a t-shirt; that was beside the point. My date for this evening was Julian Baker, aka, the ex of the bride. Small, crazy world, huh? It wasn't like we were together together though; I think everyone knew that. We just happened to be close, dateless, and this is what happened. Coming back to the point here, the place looked like a scene right out of a movie. The end of the movie to be exact. Where the lead woman finds the one she's supposed to be with after all their obstacles they've been through together and finally end it here. They say the vows, the priest announces them, a kiss is shared between the two. People cry, the camera moves back towards the couple and then it fades away with them kissing.

Maybe that was exaggerating it a bit, but that's how it happened, am I right? The last time I stood here though, I was in the pews, watching another woman my ex and now close friend, Lucas Scott, about to marry him. Of course there was the about seeing as it just ended up in Lindsey, the bride, running out of the church saying she couldn't marry him and my Godson being kidnapped. Again, crazy world. Of course, the crazy kidnapper was put in jail, and this time, the bride was someone everyone expected it to be. Peyton Sawyer. My best friend.

"I'm gonna go check up on Peyton. See you afterwards?" I turned, telling Julian for I knew after going 'behind the scenes', there was no coming back out until it was time to walk out before my blonde best friend.

His head nodded and his lips pressed against my cheek softly and swiftly. "See ya then." he replied back before going and taking a seat beside the other guests in the pew close to the front. I had to take a deep breath to settle myself. Of course it wasn't my wedding, but I was still nervous. Nervous I might mess up and trip down the aisle. Nervous I might find Peyton in the back trying not to bawl out crying tears of joy. 'Course I would know how to calm her down and re-apply her make-up before any real damage was done and I couldn't do it quickly, but wedding were always tear jerkers for me, and if I found her crying, it might get my own eyes glossy with tears.

I made my way back to the bride's room, knocking on the wooden door lightly, yet hard enough. "Come in," came a voice from inside. The knob turned slowly on my accord and I let myself in, shutting the door lightly behind me causing it not to make so much noise. Her back was to me; the corset tied back that I designed as a part of the dress I made was in my view, but not my blonde friend's face. She was turned away from the mirror, her hair she had curled showed me she wasn't drooping her head; her hands, as far as I could tell from the way they bent at the elbows, were placed on her stomach.

No one had expected the two surprises that had come towards our way once the blondes were engaged. First, the baby. Yes, Miss Bride was pregnant. All i know was that it was planned, but wanted. The second surprise was that the wedding date was pushed up. Lucas and Peyton had used the excuse "we don't want to wait". Of course, I knew the truth. Peyton didn't want to be pregnant on her wedding day. I knew she was thrilled about both, but the day she told me was the day I told her i had made the dress for a _skinny _Peyton. Again, no one was expecting the baby. "Peyton?" I said softly.

She finally turned around. Her eyes were slightly red around the rims, showing she had been crying. Her expression neither showed happiness or somberness. I felt my own turn to worry and concern as my feet made their way over. "Peyt?" I asked softly again, placing a hand on her shoulder and taking one hand in mine. Finally, a sign of emotion showed, though, not the one I wanted exactly to see.

Peyton's face changed into one that was sad, one that looked like she had been thinking all day and night and even the week before about; one that said she was doubting this wedding. Oh no. Not again. "Peyton, seriously, this isn't funny. What's wrong? Are you ok?" the alarm in my voice was almost well kept, except the pitch rose slightly at the end. The blonde's eyes turned towards her brunette friend and she gave her a smile. Fake or not, it wouldn't show.

"I'm fine, Brooke. Just a little emotional. You know? The whole wedding and the hormones kicking in at the same time. I'll be fine." She reassured me with a smile. I couldn't help but smile back. Her explanation seemed real enough, and believeable seeing as i fell for it. My lips couldn't help but curve into a smile back for my long time friend.

"Well, you know no matter what, I'm here for you. Right?"

Her head nodded. "I know." She paused. "Thanks, Brooke. This means a lot to me."

I smiled back and nodded, pulling Peyton into a tight hug. "You're welcome, P. Sawyer." I thought about my sentence for a minute. "Soon to be Scott." I added with a grin as I pulled away. She chuckled at this and wiped at the small tear that had formed in the corned of her eye.

"Go on, B. Davis. Your cue's coming up. I can't walk out there without having my Maid Of Honor up there first." She smiled again and I knew she was right. With a nod and a quick hug once again, I made my way to the door and turned back, smiling at her.

"Knock 'em dead." I encouraged before opening the door. My tiny figure slid out of the door, although, I could swear I saw my best friend's face turn somber and upset just before she turned away, her back to the door once again. I just hope it was a trick of the light. I don't need both my best friends heartbroken today. Not today.

------

Peyton had been right, as soon as I walked out of the room, I heard the tune that meant I was on. My heels clicked lightly against the carpeted floor as I jogged my way over, careful as not to fall. I was at my place and ready, catching my breath once I was ushered to walk down by the wedding planner the couple had hired. My breath hadn't been lost for too long so I was back to breathing normal before even halfway down the aisle. Lucas was already up there, as was Nathan, his Best Man. It ook them both in as I made my way. Both of them in tuxes, hair nicely done. Lucas looked like he couldn't be anymore happier, though he was only smiling in the slightest way. Nathan looked at Haley, who had decided to be in the audience this time around instead of up there. The way he looked at her was if there was no one else in the room, even if they were already married. Even if they had been married for what? 4, 5 years now? To have someone still look at you like that, well, not everyone was as lucky at those two were.

By now, I was up on the platform, across from Nathan. The traditional march that announces the bride played; all eyes turned towards the double doors where the center of attention would be for the whole day, well, part of the center of attention. Peyton walked down the aisle in the dress I made her, looking stunning as ever. Her head was held high, the flowers in her hands and she gave a smile behind the veil she had on. Her chicken legs arrived at the alter; Lucas took her hands. If he hadn't looked like he would explode before he sure as hell did now.

I was probably lost in my own train of thought as I watched the scene before me take place. The Priest said what needed to be said. I could see Karen out of the corner of my eye tearing up as well as Haley who kept it in better than the older woman beside her. Andy was smiling towards the son of his wife and Lily was bouncing up and down in her seat with Jamie, it was a wonder they kept quiet.

"I do."

My attention was drawn back towards the brooding blonde male that had said the words. A smile was upon my lips and I wasn't sure it was coming off. My best friend was happy. My other best friend, even if at one point I would have considered myself being the one standing there, holding his hands and looking into his blue orbs that can just melt your soul once he fixes them on you. The way he looks at you like you're the only person in the world and nothing else matters. No matter who's there, the weather, the place.

My eyes close for a fraction of a second and reopen, my head shaking in the slightest way. I'm not supposed to be thinking this. This is my best friend's fiancée, soon to be husband. I fix my eyes again, but what happens next is just deja vu all over again.

"I can't." Came the soft whisper of Peyton Sawyer. Her head was tilted down, and I knew her eyes were casted down. Everyone else was probably dieing to know what she said, and I know it was I, her, Lucas and probably Nathan that were the only ones to hear. The mass of blonde hair went up slowly, showing me she was looking up into the man we both had fought for over the years. I would kill to know what her expression was, though her voice seemed pained. "I can't marry you, Lucas."

Oh hell no. No. No, no, no, no, no. Not again, please dear God in heaven not again. This is supposed to be happening. She's supposed to say I Do, get a ring and kiss him. I know my face showed alarm and confusion for everyone else's face reflected the same, though slight less alarm since they knew it was an exchange going and it wasn't good.

Finally, Peyton turned towards me. Her eyes were going red around the edges again to show she was going to cry. My brows furrowed. I took a step towards her and she smiled sadly, shaking her head. In a way, were actually communicating. By my gesture of wanting to talk to her and hug her was my way of saying "What the hell is going on?" and "I'm here for you" all in one. Her not accepting was her way of saving she didn't want to talk about it.

And for the second time, I saw a dress I designed, run swiftly back up the aisle.

**So, what do you think? Should I continue? Or just like, not? Review please!**


	2. 168 Hours

Oh my gosh! I really didn't expect that many people to review! Ok, so it was only 8 reviews, but it was all in just one day. That's just left me, wow. Haha. Anyways, thank you all so much for those reviews. So, here comes the next part. Let's see what's going on with the unlucky couple and the girl stuck in the middle shall we? :] Oh! I also forgot to say that Sam's not in this. At least not for now I think. I really don't like her (Don't ask me why...I don't know ha) and I really don't know how I would fit her into all this so she won't be in it and if she is, it'll be later.

**But thank you to PrincessOnyx, paranoidbychoice, Long Live BRUCAS, ashstalker, tanya2byour21, cRiMsOnGoDeSs01, TeamSophia, and mickeiblue. :] Anyways, here we go for real now ha.**

**168 Hours**

It's been a week. Seven days. That was a hell of a long time for no one to come out and talk that is. I hadn't talked to Lucas _or_ Peyton. Probably three days after sure I would have gotten in touch with one of them, but this was just ridiculous. They had to talk. There wasn't anything holding them back. It was inevitable. I let out a breath I had been holding for 2 seconds. I wanted to talk to them, I _needed_ to talk to them. Find some way or something. How in the world was anyone supposed to be at ease when just a week ago Peyton left Lucas at the alter and hasn't been heard from since. Haley had told me she tried calling and texting Lucas too. But unlike me, she actually marched down to his house; he didn't let her in. It's probably saying something when Lucas Scott doesn't let his best friend Haley James-Scott in. Let me emphasize on the word _best _friend. She had even brought Jamie with her. He still didn't open the door! And if Jamie can't get to anyone, then no one else sure can.

It was still worth a shot wasn't it? Nathan had no luck either. And basically that's all who was left. My hand picked up my phone in the flash of an eye as soon as the familiar sound of vibrating started on the kitchen counter. "Peyton?"

It was my automatic response. I hadn't checked caller ID, but she had been the last person I made a call to. The voice on the other line disappointed me, but not so much as to hang up.

_"No. It's me, Haley."_

"Oh, Haley. Hi. Have you heard anything from Lucas?" This was how it was. I would ask about Lucas, she would ask about Peyton. It was really hard to deal with trying to talk, or in Peyton's case, find both of them at the same time. But it was coming pretty soon if both of their asses didn't say anything soon. This was worrying me senseless and I don't need wrinkles so young, thank you.

_"No." _I heard an exasperated sigh. _"I tried going over there with Jamie again. He still wouldn't answer. Well, he said 'Leave me alone!' and that was all I heard from him and the door never opened. I would ask about Peyton, but figuring the sound in your voice when you answered, I'm guessing you haven't had much luck either, right?"_

She knew me too well. Almost as well as Peyton. Almost. My own lips let out a sigh and I shook my head, knowing Haley couldn't see me over the phone. "No." my voice came out sounding dull, tired, and on the verge of giving up, which I was.

Haley sighed once more. _"Brooke, I'm really getting worried here. What if Peyton left town? What if Lucas is doing...Oh I don't even know what he could be doing. He's Lucas for crying out loud! He could be drinking senseless, he could be staring at a picture of Peyton and hurting himself more. And worse, she's pregnant, Brooke. Pregnant! As in expecting. As in carrying a baby; Lucas' baby. As in--"_

"Yes, I know what pregnant means, Haley!" I almost snapped. She was just as worried as she was, but still. "I know what pregnant means." I heard myself repeat, this time my voice softer. Haley was freaking out, this was what I was worried about. If Haley snapped and lost control of how worried she was, well, who knew how much time I had left. Sometimes she was the strongest of us, sometimes I was. It depended on the situation and this situation was something that both of us would crack soon.

She sighed on the other end once more and I could already picture her running a hand through her hair and slumping over. _"I'm sorry. I'm just-I'm just really worried." _She told me and I knew what that felt like.

"I'll tell you what," I spoke into the phone as I grabbed my keys for my car that were beside the place where my phone had been before in use. "I'm gonna go try and talk to Lucas. Apparently this whole thing with Peyton isn't working out with just waiting around waiting for her to call. I doubt she'll be in town, but she might be. How about you go try and find her? TRIC, her studio, any places she could be. It's been too long, Haley. We need to do something and now." I felt my instinct take over. The one where I put everyone in charge of something and try to solve this problem we had. The problem about my two blonde friends.

_"Sure, Brooke. I'll do anything to help them. You know that. I'll go over now. Nathan has Jamie to try and take away his mind from the lack of Lucas being around or talking so I'm free."_

I nodded. "Good. I'll call you later, okay?"

_"Sure. I'll talk to you then."_

I heard the click of the phone hanging up and hung up myself. I took a deep breath before letting it out. This wasn't going to be easy. Lucas wasn't someone anyone could get to open up. He was usually the one talking to people, usually not the other way around. It took a lot for him to talk and this was something that needed to be talked about and not just left unattended. I clutched my keys and took my phone, placing it in my pocket before walking out my door and out to my car, getting in, starting it up and driving away.

------

The whole way there I tried to think of way I would approach Lucas. There was the demanding way where I would bang and bang on the door until he opened. The motherly way where I would just try and sound soft and comforting standing outside and the way where I just barge in. That last option was a bit of a extreme measure so I would go with my first. Couldn't hurt. I took another deep breath as I arrived and steadied myself. My feet got out of the car, dragging my body that was attached along and my fist came down on the door, knocking three times.

"Lucas." I warned first. My voice wasn't so loud but it would get there. "Lucas, It's me. Brooke. You know, Brooke Davis. You friend and ex girlfriend." That last part was a bit pointless I'll admit. "Lucas you have to open this door right now. Haley's worried sick about you, I'm worried sick about you. Jamie doesn't know what the hell's going on but he knows he's missing his Uncle Lucas."

Still, no reply.

I groaned. "Lucas you need to open this door right now. I'm not kidding." I waited a couple seconds, a minute. No answer still. This was getting annoying. "Lucas Eugene Scott open the door!" I yelled in aggravation. My hair fell into my eyes and I pushed it back forcefully, frustrated. This just wasn't working; He wasn't coming out and I knew it. My head shook and I sighed, turning on my heel and walking back slowly towards my car that waited for me. It looked as if it was mocking me and just sitting there trying to say that he would never open up. God what my imagination made up sometimes.

The turn of the lock turning and the creak of the door opening caught my attention in the fraction of a second and I spun on my heel, almost falling down in the process.

He looked...well there was no way to describe it. His hair was messed up. His face showed signs of not having being shaved in a few days. His clothes were wrinkled up and his eyes, oh God, his eyes. They weren't Lucas' eyes. Not the Lucas I knew. The Lucas Scott I knew would always have the slight twinkle in his eye, no matter what. The only other times I'd seen this look was the time I broke up with him for the last time, and even now it hurt to see him so broken. Taking one look at him, you'd think he was an alcoholic, and I'm pretty sure he had been drinking. but I knew him.

His eyes just showed how he felt. The sparkle and twinkle he always had in those blue orbs were gone. They were dull. They didn't even look blue anymore they were so dull. And just by taking one look into those windows of his soul you could tell just how broken his soul really was. Losing Peyton was a big toll on him. Not to mention, again, the baby that the blonde was carrying, along with probably his heart.

For reasons unknown, I wanted to hate Peyton now. Hate her for what she just did to my former lover. Hate her for leaving him like this. Alone, broken, and taking his child with her although she had no choice. It wasn't fair to him. He shouldn't have to go through this. Not twice at least. God, Peyton, what have you done? The poor guy's already been through this once, taking it almost the same way. Only now it was worse. Worse in the way that everyone thought they were to be together and now he had his dreams crushed, ruined and probably...well, honestly I couldn't tell what would happen now. He was Lucas and she was Peyton. Somehow they'd have to find a way to each other, right? And again, for reasons I don't even know, my heart ached at the thought. The thought that she still would have him in the end. The thought that they would be a happy family no matter what because he and everyone else thought she was 'The One', 'The Comet'. I pushed these thoughts aside. These weren't my thoughts were they? They couldn't be. No, I was far away from the point where I had been in love with Lucas Scott.

"Lucas." I heard my voice. It sounded shock, sympathetic and above all, sad. Sad that I had to find him this way and sad that all this was even happening. During all this time that my thinking had taken place, I had found myself standing 2 feet away from him. I looked at the man before me sadly. "Lucas." I repeated.

He shook his head, looking at me with those eyes that weren't his. "Don't, Brooke." He warned me. "Don't go on telling me, 'Lucas, I'm so sorry'. Yea, I know you're sorry. But I don't want to talk about it ok?" he said, before stepping aside to let me in and in the process, he walked back into the house, the door left open for me. So he didn't want to talk; Well he was going to. I was going to make sure of it. I knew first hand not talking, well, it'll just leave you with probably years of rage to build up. My feet followed and I shut the door behind me in the process. What I saw in his house was expected and not at the same time.

The living room floor and kitchen floor were littered with beer bottles and fast food take out bags and cartons on the tables. I shook my head and sighed silently and sadly. Taking all that, the house smelled of alcohol and food. The nasty smelling food. I kicked my foot against one bottle that was a few inches away from me and it went a little ways away from me. My eyes went from the awful floor to Lucas, who had taken a seat on the couch. My gaze narrowed and I shook my head slightly.

"Lucas, this isn't you. Look at this place, it's a mess! How can you stand to live here?" As I said this, my feet carefully made their way around the mess and I stood in front of him, my hands on my hips.

His expression was weary and I almost dropped my argument. _Almost_. "Brooke, I said I didn't want to talk about it."

"And I'm respecting your wish, Lucas. I'm talking about your house, the condition it's in. The condition _you're _in. I'm not talking about Peyton."

He winced and recomposed himself in the same second. "I can live this way if I want. It's my house. Not yours."

His words stung me and I flinched a fraction of a millimeter away from him. This was going to be harder than expected. At least he had opened up the door for me, whereas he didn't for Haley. It had me thinking for a second before coming back to the task at hand. "Lucas, you cannot live like this. Peyton or no Peyton. Your house or not your house." He hadn't winced this time. My expression softened. "This isn't healthy, Luke. I'm worried about you. Haley's worried about you. Everyone is." I told him gently. "Please." I almost begged. I couldn't be here like this. His house and him were the same; a mess. I just wanted to throw up from the bottles and empty cartons left over that caused the smell. Not to mention, now that I was standing in front of him, he smelled too.

He sighed and finally his expression looked as though, well, it was indescribable. Like he didn't know what to think. "Brooke," His voice was pained this time. Not full of anger or stubbornness like it had a minute ago. "It hurts, Brooke. It hurts really bad." And this time it was only slightly above a whisper. My expression softened even more until it was saddened and I crossed the few feet that were between us and took a seat next to him. My petite arms wrapped around him and pulled him close for a hug, rocking him gently as a mother would. God knows he needs this.

"I know." I said softly. "I know." I repeated.

I felt the part of my shirt that was close to his face starting to get wet. He was crying. God I hate this. He shouldn't be like this. No. That's all I've been repeating all day I think. Lucas was never much of a crier and if he did, then it's something big or important to cry over. I've only seen him cry maybe once or twice. I kept rocking him gently and kissed his dirty blonde hair once gently.

This was going to be a long day I imagined.

------

After his tears subsided, which weren't as many as I expected, apparently he'd really done some crying while he was alone, I sat him up and looked into his eyes. "Luke," i started out gently. "You really need a shower." I said softly and my lips curved into a small smile, hoping he would smile too.

But he didn't and my smile faded soon after. Nevertheless, he nodded his head. "Yea. You're probably right." He said softly and sat up on his own accord a bit more.

"How about you go take one while I clean up a bit around here and then we go somewhere?" I suggested, hopefully he would agree.

He nodded softly and ran a hand through his hair. "Sure." And I could feel all he was, who he was before, was suddenly fading and fast and I wasn't going to let him do that. Lucas got up and trotted slowly but not at the same time and made his way into the hall. I watched him until I couldn't see him anymore and fell back against the couch, running a hand through my own hair. There Had to be something to do to cheer him up. And so, my brain rattled and thought as I sat up, standing up and started cleaning up. Both the house mess and hopefully Lucas' mess himself.

**Ok, so i noticed I made a few mistakes on the last chapter. Sorry about that. I just hope you still could understand. :]**

**Thank you all soo much for those reviews again! Seriously, they made me really happy. :D**

**anyways, here's a little something i had to say to some of the reviewers.**

**TeamSophia: I remember you reviewed my last story and this one too. Thanks so much for liking my stories. :] Makes me happy haha.**

**paranoidbychoice: Haha. Yes, Peyton is still pregnant with Luke's baby (unfortunately haha). And as far as to why she ran off...well, you'll just have to find out, now, won't you? ;] but don't worry, I got it all worked out.**

**REVIEW! :D**


	3. One Word

Thank you, reviewers. That makes me feel happy despite the fact that my aunt and uncle are coming to town and my uncle scares me haha. But good news also, IT'S SNOW! We've had snow since sunday night and it's tuesday and had two snow days in a row. I am like Whoo! ha. But yea, I figured I'd take the time to update my story today since tomorrow I probably won't be able to and we go back to school and that just brings me back since we'll have to make up work. Anyways, my rant is done :] Enjoy the next chapter.

**One word**

It didn't take him long to get ready, but he wasn't exactly finished fast. It took him probably a total of 30 minutes to get a shower and get changed and all. Not too bad. I usually take 30 minutes _in _the shower. During this time, I had picked up all the empty food boxes and cartons. That definitely was going first. I couldn't stand the smell any longer. Those went to the trash and the trash went outside; seeing as it overflowed after a couple cartons. Apparently he hadn't taken out the trash either. Next were the beer bottles and whatever other liquids he had on the floor. Pretty soon those were gone and the only thing left was his room, which, I'm sorry, Lucas, but I wasn't going in there. Who knew what clothes he had there or if he had even changed. Besides, he was in there changing. I wasn't about to walk in there while he was naked.

A shiver went up my spine and I doubt it was from the cold. I shook it off and continued my work to clean up the house a bit. The only thing left was the couch that was a bit messed up and a couple of jackets and shoes probably. But Lucas had come out of his room and I would continue this later. My body turned and I face him, a small smile on my face. "Hey." He looked better. He looked _cleaner. _Which was a plus there.

His shoulders shrugged and he leaned against the doorway that he was in between the hall and living room. "Hey." He replied. Well, it looked like his mood hadn't changed.

My smile faded and I sighed. I made my way over to him and placed my hands on my hips once again. "Lucas, your mood isn't helping anything. You look a lot better, and your whole mood needs to change. I know she hurt you and you're hurting, but a small smile wouldn't hurt, would it?"

It was his turn to shrug this time and he shook his head. "Guess not." and that was all I got.

I finally got fed up, and I didn't want to be inside the house anymore, so my plan was put into action. I grabbed his wrist. "Come on, mister. We need to find something to cheer you up."

And we were off.

------

I decided to drive, seeing as he wasn't in the mood for and if his little broody self would be distracted, well, i didn't want to end up in the hospital, thank you very much. My first stop: The rivercourt. Now, after this, I didn't exactly have anything else planned. But this was a spur of the moment plan and this was going to be made up as we went along. I shut off his car and got out, shutting the door; he followed the suit. We stopped at the edge of the concrete and from the corner of my eye, I saw my friend who would be stubborn as always, cross his arms.

"Brooke, what are we doing here?" He voice was weary again, and he sounded like he was empty and just not in the mood for anything. Like the type of person that was aggravated to the point where they just let everything go past them.

"I already told you, Lucas. We're here to cheer you up."

"Here?"

And I knew why he asked that. There had been some memories of him and Peyton here, and those were probably the ones that were in his mind now; probably in capital letters, bolded and in a flashing neon sign in his head saying 'PEYTON PEYTON PEYTON'. But we weren't here for that. We were here for something he hadn't done in a while.

I went back to the car, and I knew he kept a spare of what I needed at the moment. I felt his gaze on me and I could already imagine the confused expression and still weary on his face as he watched me. His face fell back again into a aggravated and annoyed kind of look when he saw me come back. "Brooke-" He started, but I didn't let him finish.

My head shook and I handed him the orange basketball in my hands. "Come on, Luke. You love being here and playing." As I said this, I glanced down at the court and became satisfied. The whole writing Peyton did was nothing more than a slight fade now, something that in his state he wouldn't notice unless he paid close attention.

His weary head shook like a little kid being asked to take out the trash in the middle of a really good video game. "But Brooke-" I cut him off again.

"Lucas, please?"

Silence for a couple moments. A sigh and a nod and he was mine now.

"Fine. But I won't promise I'm gonna be into it."

I grinned slightly and nodded. "I know. And if you want, just to make it more interesting, I'll play with you. Although, I know I'm gonna get my butt kicked." And this could be something fun, but my odds with him like this were looking pretty high now and I couldn't help but smile at the thought.

What happened next was something that I had been waiting for and excited me. He smiled. Well, in the slightest way, probably only half a smile, but it was still something. His eyebrow kinked and he inclined his head to one side slightly. "Are you really willing to go up against me, Brooke Davis?"

Oh my God, Lucas was starting to come back. in my happiness, I could've jumped for joy; of course it would've looked really odd seeing a famous designer in heels jumping up and down on a basketball court. Instead, I simply smiled a bit and shrugged innocently, taking the ball from his hands once again and dribbled it once. "If that's what it takes to keep that smile on your face, then yes."

The almost full smile on his lips actually spread out a but further and it actually was a half smile now. "You're wearing heels." So he noticed.

"Well I wasn't going to wear nurse's shoes everywhere, was I?" I couldn't help but smirk in the slightest way at my remark. But he had a point and after I finished talking, I started removing my shoe. Right foot, then left. I took the heels that I have forgotten the price of and put them to the side.

God he was tall.

I looked up at my blonde ex and he kept his half smile in place, rolling his eyes. "If you wanna play barefoot, be my guest."

The ball was snatched out of my hands and Lucas dribbled it, walking around to the hoop and started shooting a couple times.

I was about to go join him, but my happiness that I actually cheered him up a bit was overwhelming. First, he had opened up for me, even when Haley had come; even when Haley had brought _Jamie. _Then, I actually got him out of the house. Now that's a major accomplishment if you ask me. Usually, when Lucas Scott is depressed he won't leave the house. But it's been a week. And now he actually half smiled. I'd say the getting out of the house and smiling should count for ten points each.

I practically almost skipped over and grabbed the ball after it came back down from going in the hoop. This could be fun.

------

(**A/N: **Ok soo....I don't exactly know how to play basketball, so I'm not even going to try and type it down. I seriously suck at it ha. So we're moving on, shall we? :])

After a good fifteen minutes, my pedicured feet couldn't exactly take much of the hard ground, we took our seats on the picnic table that was there. He had actually put a full smile on and an almost laugh when I had almost tripped over my own feet trying to get the ball. I'm not good with basketball. I'd say the whole thing could be twenty points each. Add forty to twenty and you get sixty. Sixty points. Thank you, thank you.

"Now wasn't that fun?"

His smile was back and he turned to face me with those blue eyes that finally had the Lucas I knew in them, well, a little bit of it anyways, but still. "Yea. It was."

I nodded and gave him my own dimpled smile back and looked at the court. Ah, sweet victory.

"Brooke?"

I turned my head towards him and his expression looked...nervous?

"I'm sorry about lashing out at you before."

Oh, he was talking about at the house. I smiled once again and waved my hand to let him know I didn't care. "Lucas, I understand. Don't apologize; it's fine."

His lips let out a soft sigh. "It's not fine. I shouldn't have, Brooke. You were trying to help I just got mad at you. It's just..I just don't understand...I mean..." He was struggling with the right words and I knew what he was talking about now. I placed my hand over his and looked at him sympathetically.

"I know. I don't know why she left either. But I promise you, Luke; I'll get her back for you." And my voice went down from the beginning of the sentence and at the end it was nothing more than slightly above a whisper. Why was I making this promise I probably couldn't keep? Because I wanted him to be happy. Why did I want him to be happy? Because he was one of my best friends and I loved him. Why did I love him? Because He was, again, my best friend. All these questions and answers were correct, well, 2/3 were. That last one, I knew it was true, but again, that feeling in the pit of my stomach and in some part of my heart was telling me it was wrong. And what did I do? I pushed it away again.

Lucas' head nodded and he looked at the court and then back at me. "Thanks." He said softly.

I nodded and mustered the best smile I could. Before I could say anything though, my phone rang. I let go of his hand and suddenly my hand ached for the warmth of his hand once again. _Because he's my friend and I want him better. _I kept telling myself over and over again as I reached into my pocket and took out my phone.

"Hello?"

------

Lucas had been trying to call my name for the past minute; I could hear him even if it was far away, well, was.

"Brooke. Brooke, answer me, damn it."

My eyes blinked and I faced the blonde haired, blue eyed boy I know. He must've seen something in my eyes or my expression because his own became alarmed.

"Brooke, what happened? What is it?"

And I felt myself not be able to talk except for one word. One name that would change today from being a depressed to slightly happy to now depressed again with the slightness of emergency and confusion and frustration and more emotions I couldn't name.

"Peyton."

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**Whoa, cliffhanger! haha. Well, anyways, thanks again for the reviews on the last chapter. I don't really like this chapter but as I said before, I wanted to get it done so when I go back to school I won't be distracted and not be able to get it up. I'm working on the next chapter and how it's all going to be played out. Yes, Peyton joins us once again in the next part, along with Haley and Jamie and Nathan. Whoo! Ha. Review! :]**


	4. Emergency

Dude! 28 reviews! Haha, I feel happy about that. :] Don't ask why, I just do. It's been a hell of a week, I got bombraded by a stupid art thing for spanish. I know, wtf, right? Anyways, ya'lls reviews made me happy. I know I said Peyton joins us in this chapter, but I didn't say she had to be there, did I? She's only talked about. :]

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_Last time on When It Isn't Like It Should Be: And I felt myself not be able to talk except for one word. One name that would change today from being a depressed to slightly happy to now depressed again with the slightness of emergency and confusion and frustration and more emotions I couldn't name._

_"Peyton."_

______

**Emergency**

I was pretty sure the whole time we were going to the hospital that Lucas was off in his own little world. Why? He didn't talk the whole way there. Plus, he had his brooding face on. That was, well considering the case, not good in any way. I hadn't been able to talk either. The whole shock was still on me while my hands were on the steering wheel in front of me and it was just by pure stroke of luck that no cars happened to really be on the road we were on, maybe one or two, but my mind was distracted and it looked like Lucas' was too so he was in no way able to snap out of it and just tell me if a car was headed my way. The phone had very well ruined everything. Not that I didn't care for Peyton, I really do, but it's just, he had been so happy, well, almost close to it, and then Peyton's in trouble and there it went; out the window.

**Flashback:**

_The phone had rang and I let go of Lucas' hand. My hand went into my front pocket and pulled out the device for the sound and I pushed 'send', bringing the phone up to my ear._

_"Hello?"_

_"Brooke? Oh my God, you have to-Brooke, she's- you have to come here now!" It was Haley's voice, frantic and panicked on the other end of the phone. This automatically put me in a straighter sitting postiton, my eyes looking in front of me but not seeing._

_"Haley. Haley, hun, calm down. What happened?" I did my best to keep my voice calm when she wasn't and it was scaring the hell out of me._

_"It's," She took a deep breath and I heard her whisper some along the words of 'Oh God' to someone beside her and when she spoke again, her voice was muffled. Well at least someone was with her. Most likely Nathan. That was good. "It's Peyton, Brooke. She got in a car accident. She's in the hospital." As she talked her voice got lower and lower until I could almost barely hear her seeing as she was slightly above a whisper._

_My heart dropped. My friend was in the hospital. My best friend of nine years was there. Nine freakin' God damn years. This wasn't happening. A week ago everything had been fine. And then Peyton said no at the alter, Lucas let himself go, and now Peyton was in the hospital. God, are you out to get me or something?_

_"I'll be there in a few minutes." I felt myself reply, my voice robotic almost and I ended the call before she replied. Lucas called my name a couple times. How many? I had lost count after the third. The only part I heard was the last._

_"Brooke, answer me damn it!" I looked at him and i felt myself udder one word. I said the name of his fiancé._

_"Peyton. ...Hospital." and I snapped out of my reverie. I picked up my keys, grabbing the brooding blonde's hand, who know had slipped into a state of not talking and we were on our way to the the place where we had spent oh so many nights for different people._

**Present:**

As soon as we arrived, Lucas still didn't say anything. As if he was in a dream and his expression looked dull. I noticed Nathan first, looking down and then kissed a mass of brunette [I think it's brunette] hair that was a couple inches shorter than him. His wife.

"Haley." I called as soon as she could hear me and she turned; her eyes were red and puffed from crying and she immediately hugged me. I returned the gesture. "Haley, what happened?" I ask as soon as I think Haley's able to talk without stopping so much to take gasps of breath from crying.

"It's, Peyton." Well I knew that. "She...God Brooke, I just, I don't know where to begin."

"Just start from the beginning."

She nodded and took a deep breath while I led her to the chairs and had her take a seat. I sneaked a look at Lucas and bit my lip, seeing him staring blankly at a wall while leaning against the one right across from it. So much for cheering him up. I turned my attention back to Haley as she started. She was breathing almost regularly now, which was good.

"I went to Tric for the second time, I think, to see if she was there. You know, in her studio. She was. I went up to her and just said and hey and all those formalities. She started crying all of a sudden and telling me why she ran from the alter." Wait, she what? She told her?

"Why'd she run?" I heard myself ask before I could let Haley speak again and before I could think.

I was silenced by a look from Nathan and Haley shook her head as if she couldn't remember. I was right. "I-I can't remember, it was all too fast, Brooke. I just remember her running out the door, crying because had gotten in a fight and she was holding her stomach the whole time. I ran after her." She paused. "Next thing I knew she ran across the street and a car-" she broke off, tearing up.

I couldn't breathe. This... Oh my God. God, oh dear Lord. My eyes closed and I let go of Haley, feeling my legs had been as if they were turned to jello. I fell back against the wall behind me not two feet away and my back leaned against it. I heard something along the lines of choked off sobs and the ground felt as if it was an earthquake. It only took me two seconds to realize that it was me. I was the one crying and shaking and by this time, I was sitting with my back against the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest and my arms folded over them. I buried my head in my arms and started crying silently.

I cried for Peyton, who didn't deserve this for anything she has done in the past. For the unborn baby she was carrying that God knows what will happen to him. What will happen to both of them. I cried for Haley, for having to witness that and after worrying for a week. I cried for Lucas. For having to go through all this heartbreak. And I cried for myself. Because I'm not the best friend I could've been and the only reason I cried for myself was because I was angry at myself. I should've gone after Peyton and had Haley try with Lucas again. I should've gone to my blonde female friend and if she tried to run, well, would it have been any different if I went? Would Lucas even have opened the door if Haley had gone again? Would he have smiled the way he did? Would Peyton be in there? I felt dizzy. These were too many unanswered questions. I couldn't take too much of it at the moment.

I looked up after what seemed hours. The scene changed. Nathan and Haley were sitting in the seats; Nathan holding Haley close. Her expression was pained and she was staring at nothing. Nathan's looked worried, but it looked for mostly about his wife. I looked around for Lucas and at first I couldn't find him. But my eyes searched again and I found him. He had moved from his wall he had claimed and was in the same position I was, only his head was in his hands. God, why this?

------

My eyes were red and puffy from crying, but finally the wet, salty substance had subsided from falling from my eyes. I sniffled once. No one had moved, except me. I was now pacing back and forth three feet across and back. My head kept glancing automatically every time the door opened for the way to the surgery rooms every time it was opened and I found myself only disappointed when not a doctor came and asked if someone was there for Peyton Sawyer; Each time, my heart kept sinking.

Another place my eyes drifted was Lucas. He looked like a statue. He was still except for the breathing and he hadn't moved from his place since I first looked up and saw he had moved. I was fighting sleep, crying did that; It seemed Haley was too from the way she was curled up against her husband and kept blinking her eyes. I knew she probably felt as guilty as ever, even if it wasn't her fault. And probably any talking I would do would just make her feel worse, so I didn't try. My gaze went to Lucas again and I bit my lip, walking over.

It was almost 8:30. It felt like forever since i had gone to get Lucas out of his house only at 5:30 this evening. And it had been almost an hour since we all came rushing to the hospital to find out about our friend who had been the runaway bride last week. An hour ago, that same girl had been put into a life and death situation.

I bit my lip as I saw him, not moving though I think he knew I was there. "Lucas," i said in the softest way possible. He didn't answer. I sighed silently, and I felt tired than ever, but I wouldn't leave him alone. My back pressed against the wall and slowly, I slid down the wall, sitting beside him. "Luke." I said, a little bit stronger this time.

His head shook and he slowly lifted it up. His eyes were red and puffy like mine, although mine had settled, but he had just finished crying. "Don't." he whispered and his voice grew in the next sentence. "Don't you dare, Brooke. You said-" he paused, looking like he needed to recompose himself. "You said it was all going to be ok. You told me you'd try to get her back to me. I didn't want her in the hospital fighting for her life and my child's life and that's how I got her." His voice moved back to a soft voice, almost a whisper by the time he said 'You told me'; although it was rough and harsh and I was more afraid of it than if he were yelling. "And It's not fucking fair that they're in there, fighting for their God damn lives while I sit here and not be able to do a God damn thing!" His voice raised again.

I flinched slightly but I didn't move away. He had never even yelled at me that way in a long time and I felt my instinctive anger rising up and instantly defend myself. "Lucas," My voice was a rage soft voice. "I never said I'd get Peyton back to you, nor did I say it was going to be ok. Although, ok, I'll give that one to you since I implied it. but I never said I was getting her back."

He rose up so fast it startled me, but I soon followed his suit. "You implied that too, God damn it, Brooke! It still doesn't do anything about the fact that she's in there," he waved his hand towards the door we all waited something from. "and I'm stuck out here. I'm useless. But what would it matter anyways. She declined me at the alter, Lindsey did too. There's something wrong with me. And you know what? I don't give a shit. My unborn son or daughter is in there, also trying to fight for his or her fucking life and you all expect me to be here sitting around and trying to calm down. How can you even ask me to do that?" He was yelling by this time, grabbing the attention of the few people in the waiting room along with his brother and sister-in-law.

And by now, I was going to yell back. "Don't you dare blame me for everyone fucking leave you at the alter. I didn't tell them to, I had nothing to do with that. And you know what, maybe I don't know what it feels like to have a kid fighting for their life that's my kid and not be able to do anything, but I sure as hell know close to it. Remember Angie, Luke? Don't you think I didn't feel helpless then too? And how do you think I felt when she was taken away? Fit as a fiddle? At least when your kid lives you won't have to worry about them being taken away." And I started tearing up again, only to remove the unfallen tears angrily.

Apparently the secretary finally thought it was enough, because she had come over, making the mistake of stepping in between the both of us only 3 feet apart now.

"If you two don't stop right now, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the building." Neither of us said anything, and she took that as a note that we would behave.

I moved and fell back against the wall, leaving Lucas facing nothing now and closed my eyes.

"If." he had whispered. "If my child lives."

My eyes opened and I couldn't say anything; because I knew he was right. _If_ was all we had at the moment. _If _Peyton survived. _If_ the baby survived.

I kept my mouth silent, staring at him for a fraction of a second longer and closed my eyes again, leaning back my head, sniffling.

------

The doctor finally walked out of the door we all expected him to and finally called the name we needed to hear. Lucas was the first over, I came in second and Naley third.

His facial expression....uh oh. This wasn't going to be good.

"There's good news and bad news." He started; no one said anything. "The good news is, Peyton survived the surgery and accident. She lost a lot of blood, but we were able to actually save her before any real damage got to her that we couldn't fix. She's got a broken leg and a couple broken ribs, nothing time, a cast and medication can't help heal."

This was good. But...oh no. He hadn't said anything about the baby. What about the baby?

Lucas and Nathan voiced my opinions in different ways. "What about the baby?" Lucas had said at the same time Nathan went, "What's the bad news."

This scared me. I already knew what was coming; the doctor's face went grim. I didn't want to believe this. This was all a nightmare. "I'm sorry." He said softly, addressing Lucas but answering Nathan's question also. he talked once again, as if he thought one of us misunderstood. "There was nothing we could do for her baby." He nodded grimly to us and turned around, making his way back from where he came.

A nightmare. Though it wasn't. It was an emergency that couldn't have been helped. And now a life was gone due to it.

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**OK. So I finally got this up. :] I meant to put Peyton in and have her talk and all, but I didn't exaclty plan much of the words and when I started typing, it was becoming like super long haha. Plus, I don't wanna just put everything there. :]**

**So..here, it is. I kinda had fun typing the part where Brooke and Lucas were fighting seeing as they haven't fought in a while in the series and all. But it was fun. And yes, next chapter, I swear Peyton comes in (sorry TeamSophia. She has to come in sometime, and I wish she didn't xD) and then she will explain herself why she left Lucas.**

**Yay! Right? Haha. Anyways, as always, review and leave me love! :D**


	5. Secrets Told

So...I had planned to put this up soon as a big thank you for your love with the reviews and alerts, but I didn't have time this week. I was late to school a day and forgot my project and I had forgotten it Monday so I finally got it in yesterday. My sister's being annoying and I found out I might not be able to go to Miami for my 15th this summer as planned :[. I got that news along with the news that my best friend won't be here next week. So I'll probably update twice next week. Today's also Friday the 13th. Whoo scary...ha. Anyways, let's just hope this unlucky day will actually make my story lucky. Haha. But enough of my ranting...Here you go. Peyton comes in this, and let's find out why she left our poor blue-eyed, brooding blonde, hm? :]

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_**Last time: **"I'm sorry." He said softly, addressing Lucas but answering Nathan's question also. he talked once again, as if he thought one of us misunderstood. "There was nothing we could do for her baby." He nodded grimly to us and turned around, making his way back from where he came._

_A nightmare. Though it wasn't. It was an emergency that couldn't have been helped. And now a life was gone due to it._

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**Secrets Told**

Lucas had left as soon as the doctor was gone. I don't blame him. He had just lost the love of his life, metaphorically of course seeing as she didn't accept his offer for marriage and now he had lost his child due to an accident. A child that was no more than 3 months into the pregnancy.

I wanted to run too. That was what I did anyways in the past. I always ran, at least, it seemed like I always did. I looked at my watch and it was almost nine now. Haley and Nathan had gone to see Peyton first. I had suggested it. Lucas was gone and I knew he wouldn't want to face his ex blonde fiancé at the moment. And I...Well, I didn't even know why I didn't want to do in. I was scared of what I might find. My blonde friend bruised up so bad I wouldn't recognize her. Or maybe she'd found out already and be upset and closed herself away as always. Plus, I wanted to be the first to wait for Lucas if he came back. I wanted to make sure he was ok, of course, in a situation like this no one's ever "ok" per say. I know I wouldn't be.

This was something I wouldn't wish to anyone. Maybe Victoria, but it's not like she even wanted me in the first place. I ran a hand through my hair and fidgeted in my seat. I couldn't pace around anymore since it was hurting my legs from standing since I basically got here but I couldn't sit still either. I checked the time on the clock on the wall across from me for what seemed like the hundredth time and finally, the two people I was waiting for showed up.

I almost knocked the chair over in the process of dashing up and I almost ran towards them.

"Well? How is she? How does she look?"

Haley shook her head softly and she looked tired from all that was going on. "She's beat up, not too bad. She's ok. But, uh, we accidently let it slip about the baby. Apparently she didn't know." She stole a glance at Nathan and it was probably him who let it spill. I didn't like him for it, but over all, i was happy he did. That way I wouldn't have to be the one to break my best friend's heart. My ex roommate looked at me again. "You might wanna go see her. Luke come back yet?"

I sighed and shook my head sadly, stealing my own glance towards the hospital doors and then back at my friends. "No."

Haley nodded sadly and ran a hand through her hair. I hadn't heard him talk almost the whole time here, but Nathan finally spoke up. "Brooke, we can't stay. Jamie's with Dan and we need to get him and get him into bed. Maybe tell him what's going on. But, I don't think we will."

I shook my head. It was too early to tell a little sweet boy like Jamie something horrible as this. "No, it wouldn't be good now. But thanks for telling me and all. I'll, uh, I'll call you if Lucas comes back."

Haley nodded and hugged me once before pulling away and then taking Nathan's hand. "Alright. I'll see you later." She said, and it felt as only a second had gone by before they were gone and out the door. I took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy, but I had to do this. Peyton was my friend and we promised to be there for each other. And right now she needed me the most. I already knew what room number she was in since Haley and Nathan had gone first and told me.

I knocked once on the door and when I entered, it was dark in the room.

------

She was sitting on the bed, her head against the headboard and her cheeks were stained with tears. Her face was only a couple bruises as well as her arms. I figured the parts with the most bruises would be her stomach. I hated to see what that looked like. I had to stop myself from turning away because I never really saw her like this. It was like a totally different Peyton than the one i knew.

"Hey."

It had been Peyton that had spoken. Her eyes we closed, but apparently she had heard the door open and the click-clack that my heels made when I walked in. I crossed the couple steps left slowly and bit my lip softly, standing almost over her. "Hey, P. Sawyer." My voice sounded hoarse. It was probably from seeing her like that, it always made my throat close up.

Peyton opened her eyes and looked at me. Her eyes were red and looked sad. They looked empty and I couldn't help but feel my heart drop once again.

"He's gone." She whispered and for a moment I thought she was talking about the baby. "Lucas is gone, isn't he?" her voice was still low and in a whisper and sounded empty like her eyes looked.

I nodded slowly and walked to the chair, taking it and moving it so it was beside the bed before taking my seat upon it. "Yea. He left twenty minutes ago I think." I confirmed her thoughts.

She merely nodded, fixing her stare upon the ceiling above her head and I bit my lip. We stayed like this for a good three minutes before it got agitating to the point where i had to say something. "How you holding up?" I said softly. I wished she would've said 'Oh, I'm fine, Brooke. Ya know, getting hit by a car and all doesn't affect me at all and losing a baby is a regular basis thing for me'. That would've been better than her just shrugging and keeping her stare on the ceiling. Being like that wasn't Peyton, but the sarcastic remark was.

I sighed, looking at her and took her arm gently, leaning forward in my chair. "Peyton, talk. Please?"

She sighed merely looked at me once again, looking at me for about probably thirty seconds and I saw her eyes water up. "I lost him, Brooke. I lost him." she said softly and I saw the tears brimming over and one spilling onto her cheek. I shook my head and held her hand. I wasn't going to let her break, best friends don't do that. It's always been Hoes over Bros for us. And it would always be.

"No you didn't, Peyton. Lucas still loves you more than you'll know and he just can't live without you. I've seen his place and everyhting and it's just a hard sight to take in because-"

She shook her head, her eyes filling with more tears. "No. Not Lucas. The baby, Brooke. I lost him. I lost him because I was being careless and I couldn't take it. I lost him because I'm not fit to be a mother."

This time I shook my head. "Stop it right there. You would've been a great mother, Peyton. We both know that."

"No we don't. I probably would've been the worst mother. The one making her child listen to 'emo' music or whatever Lucas calls it and then I wouldn't be able to take care of my baby."

She was starting to go to hysterics. This wasn't good. I needed to stop her before she rambled to the point where she wouldn't stop. "Peyton, you would be able to. You would've gotten your motherly instincts and they would help you through out it all, plus, you would've had Haley and me. haley having more experience, but all the same. You would've been great."

She sighed. "Yea, but Brooke, I broke it off with Lucas. I would've been a single mom, and Lucas would be in the baby's life, but I still would be a single mom."

"And a great one. I'm telling you." I tried to reassure her. "A lot of kids from single parents turn out great. But Lucas would've been in their life, as you said. So the baby would've been even better."

"I still would've have been as great Jake." she mumbled and for a second I had to stop and think to see if I had heard her right. Jake? Jake Jagielski? It must've been him. I didn't know any other Jake. But he hasn't come up in any of our conversations since Junior year in high school, back when she was dating him. Needless to say, my curiosity got the better of me and I dropped the conversation we were just having and moved onto the topic that's burning a question in my mind.

"Jake? How did he come into all this?"

She looked like she wanted to take it all back adn slid down into her covers a bit. She pretended to yawn softly and fidgeted with the blanket over her. "Nothing, I was just saying. It's nothing. I'm tired, Brooke."

That was her lying voice. I could tell. I gave her a look, let go of her hand and crossed my arms over my chest. "Peyton, what's Jake got to do with all this?" I was going to get to the bottom of this. And i saw by the way she looked over and then down that she knew it too. It was only a matter of a couple minutes, 10, give or take, that she would tell me. I raised an eyebrow, tapping my foot on the floor as I waited. I suddenly felt like a mother reprimanding her child for taking a cookie out of the cookie jar and waiting for them to hand it back and walk into the living room for a time-out.

"I-Jake..Well. Ok, here it goes. But you have to promise not to interrupt, ok?"

I could tell this was going to be long. Why else would she say that. I uncrossed my arms and nodded, leaning back in my seat. I suddenly felt back in high school, sharing secrets and it didn't feel like we were actually in the hospital for her being hit by a car and that she had just lost a baby. But, of course, it was still there in the back of my mind.

"Ok, well. I recently found out Jake was back in town-"

"Oh my god, He is? Why didn't you say anything?" I interrupted and earned a glare from her. I shrunk in my seat and nodded. "Sorry. Go ahead."

"Like I was saying, I found out Jake was back in town. Of course, I went to go see him. Jenny has gotten so big. She's a year older than Jamie and is the cutest thing." I raised an eyebrow and she remembered her story. This time, she nodded and sat up a bit in the bed she was stuck in since she was hooked up to IVs and monitors. "Anyways, I went to go see him one day. We talked, had lunch, the whole shebang. I told him I was pregnant and engaged to Lucas. It looked like his face had fallen, but he told me he was happy for me. I asked him about his love life and he said he didn't have anyone special. We kept talking and all and we were back at his house before I could count the seconds or keep track of the time. He gave me this look, the look he always gave me in school. I knew what was going to happen but i didn't stop it, Brooke. I let him kissed me and I...I actually kissed him back."

She bit her lip and I knew there was more. "I stayed longer than i expected to." I knew what that meant. "And it continued like that for a couple weeks, and the weeks turned into a month. I feel so ashamed of it, Brooke. I knew I was engaged, and I love Lucas, but I don't know what came over. It was just like, I don't know. Like I was trying to make up for those years he wasn't around and I guess a part of me still loves him or something. He knew my wedding was coming up soon and then decided one day to just get up and leave town again. He told me and I couldn't see him leave again, but I had to." She stopped and I sat there. I would've never guessed Peyton would cheat on _Lucas_. It was true, Lucas cheated on me with _her. _This time, she actually cheated on him. I couldn't get over that. And it wasn't a kiss, it was the whole thing. And with Jake. I never figured him to be the type, but I guess people prove you wrong. I had thought that was the end of the story, but she started talking again.

"That's why I couldn't marry Lucas. I couldn't live with that. It was just too hard. I couldn't be standing there when He told me he'd love me forever and would always be honest with me; never leave me or do anything. And here I was. I had hurt him and I didn't tell him. But it would've been worse if I had told him while we were married or engaged. I mean, married is for your whole life. Engaged is about to be. I guess I could've always broken it off, but like I said, I still loved him and couldn't bare to just leave him. The sad part is, I don't regret it. I feel ashamed and guilty, but I don't regret it."

I sat there still. I hadn't moved. For those of you following along, Peyton, my best friend, had slept with Jake. Not once or twice, but during the time span of a full month. She's pregnant and engaged. Lucas doesn't know any of it, and apparently I'm the first to know. Not to mention she just left Lucas at the alter for it and hasn't told him why she left him. Yea, God's out to get me. I know it.

"Peyton..." I couldn't find the words to describe what I felt inside. In a way, it didn't exactly shock me. I mean, I knew she was capable of this, but I still didn't think that she's cheat on Lucas. That's the part that won over me. I never thought Jake would do anything either. I also felt a bit of rage because I knew how Lucas felt, being in the dark about something like this. Of course, I wouldn't tell him if Peyton didn't want me to and the rage was buried up. "Peyton, why? Lucas loves you. I mean, I just don't understand. Please fill me in on that." Those were the best words I could think of. Anything else would've been too harsh or too soft.

She shrugged, looking down and playing with the blanket over again. "I don't know, Brooke. I told you. It just...happened." she said softly. Yea, I bet.

I sighed and ran a hand through my brunette hair, looking at her. I could never understand why someone would cheat on their boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever it was. I don't think I ever would. To me, I guess it was just from the prospect of seeing it though the way of already being cheated on, that I could never do it. I saw it just as unfaithfulness and a way that someone wasn't satisfied with their relationship. Much as I hated to admit it, I also saw it this way for Peyton. She was my best friend, yes. She had been there for me and vice versa, of course. But I still couldn't see how she could do it. I just, I didn't even know at the this point.

"Say something, please, Brooke?"

I didn't know _what_ to say. There was so much, yet, if I said anything, it'd just hurt my friend. Or I could've gone the other way around and tried to comfort her. She would have seen through that though, and that wasn't how i felt. I wish it wasn't me. At this point I wished I wasn't Peyton's best friend, that I didn't know Lucas. That I didn't know anybody and never lived in Tree Hill. All it's done is cause me trouble; the town that is. It was like my tongue was frozen with words I wanted to say but didn't. I just shook my head instead, starting to get up. "I don't know what to say, Peyton." I bit my lip. I couldn't take anymore, not today that was. "I, um, I gotta go." I managed to get out.

I placed a hand on my head as if I had got a headache, though it wasn't the case. Lowering it, I made my way out of the hospital room. Out the door i went, but not before I heard Peyton call my name out once almost softly then quit. My intention was to get out of the hospital as soon as I could and I reached my goal three minutes after getting out of the room my friend was in.

I wanted to call Lucas. To tell him everything I had just learned. My hand reached for my phone in my pocket and I was almost at the L in my contacts before realizing what I was doing. This was Peyton's battle. She had to tell him, not me. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut for very long, and that meant Peyton had to act fast. I bet almost a 100% she knew that too. She knew me. I could keep secrets, but not something like this for so long especially if the person I knew was involved and didn't know it. I let out a soft sigh, putting my phone back and starting the my car I had gotten in. This was a hell of a day. The sad part was, I knew this wouldn't be last of them.

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**WHOO! :] I'm finished! haha. Like I said, I was planning for this to go up sooner. So sorry about that. :] Um, this is by far the longest time I've worked on for a chapter and the longest one yet ha. Usually I'd finish it in a night or two days. But I've been at this one for i think today makes three days. Anyways, I'll try to get the next one up soon.**

**Hint: It's gonna be Lucas' POV. :] Ain't that exciting? Haha; knowing someone else's thoughts besides Brooke. Alright, enough of my ranting. Leave me some love, won't ya? ;]**


	6. Author's Note

**A/N: **I am so sorry I haven't updated yet, guys. Things have been hectic lately with my sister's birthday Friday and the whole weekend we were focusing on having her party and then today I got to go to Laser Tag for the first time and I ranked third on my team. :] Haha, but my friend's been gone for this week will make two weeks and she's like, the one person who i never feel lonely with and she's gone and I've just haven't been in the mood for anything and it sucks ass. I want to get the story up real bad cause it's in Lucas' POV but I haven't been able to think of anything which is another reason I haven't updated; writer's block. :/ I promise I'll update as soon as I get something and then it'll be up for all you faithful readers. :]

-Vannesa [TwilightOTHfan2012]


	7. What Have You Done

O.M.G, dude. I haven't updated for a while seeing as I usually update a couple days after each chapter. Hm. Anyways, so sorry about that. I finally had time to update this. I won't be updating as soon since we got SOLs here soon, like two to three weeks to be exact, and people are dumb. Ok then, we already found out what Peyton did to not have her marry Luke. She went with Jake and cheated [big shock there xD] and I promised you a Luke POV chapter so here you go.

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_**Last time:** She knew me. I could keep secrets, but not something like this for so long especially if the person I knew was involved and didn't know it. I let out a soft sigh, putting my phone back and starting the my car I had gotten in. This was a hell of a day. The sad part was, I knew this wouldn't be last of them._

________

**What Have You Done**

What's a word to describe knowing that your ex finace, who left you at the alter by the way, got hit by a car? Got put in the hospital and lost the baby she was carrying, your baby nonetheless. There really wasn't any words for this. There were a couple. Some I wanted to yell at the doctors that would probably be too inappropriate for me to start yelling in the middle of the street. Some I wanted to yell at Brooke. I know she didn't do anything, but she told me it would be ok. Well, guess what, Brooke? It's _not_ ok. Not anywhere close.

Peyton hated me. That's the only reason I can think of that she would leave me at the one place where I had gotten left before. How many times had she said she loved me? How many times did she tell me she had said yes for me proposing the first time? How many times had everyone said we "belonged" together? Well, it seemed belonged doesn't mean what it used to. I used to think it too, hell, I still do. But what else am I supposed to think? The woman I love left me at the alter, she was pregnant at the time too. She gets in an accident and loses _my_ child. Hell, my life's pretty fucked up I can say.

Relationships probably aren't my thing. I slept with a bar slut, i lost Brooke not once, but twice. Lindsey left me at the alter. I lost Peyton like, what, three times or so? Yea. Someone was out to make sure I had no love life. It pretty much sounds right. No girls ever stayed around with me and apparently, I can't have kids either.

What in this world did I ever do? Let's see, I was a pretty good kid growing up. I gave my mom no trouble, I didn't pay much attention to Nathan or Dan. That's as good as you can ask me to get when it came to those two back then. Keith and my mom did a good job of raising me right. I've made a few mistakes here and there in high school, but I've done something to make up for it all, haven't I? I'm Brooke's friend. I accepted Nathan and Haley. I've been there for my friends. I mean, come on! What else is there to ask of me? I'm making a movie for a best selling book for crying out loud. See, I thought that was when all my good luck came pouring in. Peyton was pregnant, we were engaged, living together. My movie was taking off.

And now this.

I had left the hospital after I got the worst news of my life. Besides the day Keith died of course. I needed air. And I had been walking for a good couple hours now. Not exactly walking, I took a cab to the cemetery, I was lucky to even get one right now actually, and went to Keith's grave. Talking to him always made things a bit better. Why? I don't know. Maybe cause I know he's listening, even if he can't give me an advice. I didn't feel like talking to Brooke or Haley or Nathan or anyone. They would just keep saying 'I'm so sorry, Luke' or 'This is horrible'. Yea, I know both of those, they don't need to remind me. Well, Brooke might not, but considering the fight we had just had, I didn't feel like talking to her.

So I ended up here. Walking around the streets in the middle of the night. I couldn't see anyone yet and, if they knew me, they'd know to leave me the heck alone until I wanted to come out. And that's what they better do. I think I spent a good two hours just ranting and talking to Keith's headstone. It was, what? Eleven? Sure felt like it. I didn't keep track. I knew what I needed now, though I wasn't sure if it was what I was supposed to do.

My common sense didn't win over and my feet dragged me to Tric. There was a replacement bartender, seeing as Chase was probably with Mia, funny how I could guess it, and Owen...Yea, I didn't know where he took off. I just knew he wasn't there. I walked until I made my way to the stools, taking a seat and placing my forearms on the bar counter.

"Something strong." I said when Mr. No Name came up. He didn't need to ask, I just knew i needed something strong enough to make my forget tonight at least and knowing myself, I'd pass out right here on the counter. A glass was placed in front of me and I grabbed it, downing the shot in one gulp. Vodka. Very strong indeed. I don't know how many more I took after that. I lost count after 5; that was sad. I just knew that what was happening right now, Mr. Replacement No Name cut me off.

Great. Just great. I'm drunk, with no way to get home except walking. I could try that, though, I'd probably just end up sleeping on the street like a hobo. Instead, my head fell against my arm and I stared at nothing. I could vaguely remember a memory of Peyton finding me here and taking me back home. I was drunk then too. I told her I hated her. Anger filled inside me. Why did I have to say that? Of course I didn't hate her. I loved her, still do. My free hand curled into a fist and I brought it down on the bar counter. I had meant to use more force, but being incoherent and having alcohol in your system apparently makes you weaker. That was one of my two lessons today.

The other: Never fall in love again. Seems like a hell of a good plan to me. Don't love, don't get hurt. Hey, that could be my new motto. It describes me, and makes sense. ... Oh yea, I'm definitely not in it tonight.

------

Only God knew what time it was when I heard voices. The bartender, I could recognize his voice clearly in this moment only because i had been begging, almost, for more alcohol for the past fifteen minutes before passing out for two minutes. And a girl voice. It sounded like Brooke, or Haley. But like I said, I was only aware of Mr. Bartender's. I really needed to learn his name. My eyes were still closed to Brooke, Haley, whoever it was, shook my arm and called my name. I didn't feel like dealing with anyone. I could probably tell them I hated them too. I didn't need the reputation for telling anyone who comes to get me when I'm drunk that I would tell them I hate them.

They shook my arm harder and I let out an involuntary groan of aggravation. I wasn't about to get up. I needed to stay here, get more alcohol once I felt I was getting sober.

Whoever the girl was, i hoped it was a girl, called my name louder. She sounded frustrated too. "Lucas!" She yelled and I felt a low growl from the back of my throat being let out.

My one eye that wasn't covered by my arm opened. One person i sure as hell would've never thought to see was there. Sam, Brooke's foster kid. Huh, either she was trying to get away with some fake ID or...yea, that's all i got. I gave her what hoped to be a glare with my one eye, but it probably looked like a fucked up look since I couldn't tell what I was doing. "What?" I growled.

Sam placed her hands on her hips and gave me a look, raising an eyebrow. Whoa, mini Brooke. "Don't you growl at me." She had definitely been spending too much time around Brooke.

"What do you want Sam?" Even I couldn't understand my own words. It was a miracle she did. Girl must be fluent in drunk.

"I'm taking you home." She said simply. Dude, first off, how did she even know I was here? That was too much thinking there. Secondly, how would she take me home? Unless she walked with me the whole way.

Right on cue, as if she could get inside my drunken mind, she spoke. "Don't worry. I already got my permit. I can drive, with some adult in the passenger seat. You're drunk, but you'll do." I couldn't think of a comeback. Shit, I used to be so good at those.

The mini brunette took one of my arms, slinging it over her shoulders and helped me up. I tried to help myself and her out here a bit by trying to at least moving my feet. It wasn't the best, but hey, i was trying. It occurred to me a few minutes later, I was in a car and it was moving. I didn't care who's vehicle it was, but at least I was getting home. Truth be told, I didn't exactly want to spend my night at the club looking like some sort of alcoholic who can't seem to leave the booze.

More minutes passed, and it seemed like two seconds, I was back home. While in the car, I noticed the time. It was two in the morning. My soberness was starting to come up a bit, but so was the sleep and headache that came with drinking too much. So I asked myself this, why was Sam out this late? I would've asked, of course, it would come out as mumbo jumbo and she probably wouldn't answer me. I didn't ask. The doorway seemed so much smaller in this state when I walked through it. This girl had either been around Brooke too much or was a stalker since she knew the backdoor was the door to my room.

I stumbled to my bed, thankful I was here, and flopped down on it; face first. I heard the door open and close once again and there went the girl who reminded me of Brooke only in a bitchier, at times, and smaller version. I had to admit though, I was glad she had come. If she hadn't I wouldn't be home and probably stuck at Tric still. Secondly, she didn't ask questions. She stayed quiet the whole ride. Not something most people would do, but hey, I wasn't complaining.

My eyes were already closed so I let myself stay put, kicking off my shoes as best I could. I drifted, letting the sleep I needed take over. I promised myself the same thing I always did on nights like this. No more drinking like that again. Just between me and myself, I already knew this night was somewhere in my future.

------

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up the next morning. It was pretty late though, I could tell that much. I always woke up late after nights like the one before. And speaking of which, here comes the killer hangover headache. I groaned, holding my head and pulling my pillow over my head. This was the bad part. It took me a few good minutes to finally be able to stand the light and make my way into the kitchen. It was a good thing I was alone, God knows I couldn't stand any noise at the moment.

But someone was definitely out to make me miserable, for as soon as I thought this, someone banged on my door. "Fuck."

I couldn't yell so I had no choice but to make my way to the door. I heard who it was before opening the door. Damn people wanna yell. Haley walked in the doorway as soon as the lock was off the door. She turned to face me as I shut the door, my back to her, but I could tell her hands were on her hips.

"Lucas, where the hell were you last night? You had us worried, for God's sake. I left you messages and even sent you some texts." Her voice was raising and by now, I had turned to face her for a second before starting slowly for the kitchen. I winced at the loudness of her voice.

"Would you mind lowering your voice, Haley?" I asked, my voice only a bit above a whisper, and it sounded hoarse too.

Just those little words and she knew of my plans last night. She would yell at me now, I'd tell her to lower her voice; She'd say no 'cause I deserve it. Great. "You were out drinking, weren't you, Lucas?" Yep, she knew alright.

I only shrugged, going to the refrigerator and grabbing the ginger ale I had there, taking a cup and pouring some. I brought the cup to my lips and took a small sip. "So what if I did?" I asked.

Haley sighed and shook her head, watching me and taking a good minute to reply. "This isn't healthy, Luke." Now where was that familiar from? Oh yea. Brooke got to her too. "You need to stop. Alcohol isn't the answer. Tell me. Exactly how much did you drink last night?"

Again, I shrugged. Might as well come out with the truth. "I lost count after five." She raised an eyebrow.

"Beers?"

"Vodka shots."

One exasperated sigh from my best friend. "Lucas," This time I sighed and looked at her.

"What, Haley? I know what I did. I know it was pretty shitty to do that, hell, I feel that way now. But what else was I supposed to do? My life fucked up so was I supposed to come back here and punch walls or be all emo and cut myself with a razor? I doubt you or anyone would want that. Drinking was probably the stupidest choice, but I'm fine. I didn't drive home, someone took me home. I'm fine. I didn't break any laws."

"Brooke?" It took me longer than it should have to figure out she was asking if Brooke was the one that took me home. I shook my head. "No."

Her eyebrows pulled together and I could tell she was trying to figure out who. Truth be told, it was a bit of a blurred memory of who _exactly _it was who had taken me home. But it came after a couple frustrated minutes. The little brunette girl Brooke had taken in. Note to self: Be sure to thank her without letting Brooke know she snuck out. Although my night out probably wouldn't be kept a secret for long, so why bother keeping it away?

"Then who?"

"Haley, I had God knows how many shots of alcohol, strong alcohol might I add. Are you really asking me this?" I almost believed myself. It was pretty damn true. Never ask a hungover man who took him home. 85% to 90% of the time, there'll be no way they remember. Damn, I'm good.

She seemed to believe me too. Haley gave a small nod and her features relaxed a bit. My best friend placed her palms on the chair in front of her and looked at me. "I think Peyton's doing better." I made a face and thankfully she wasn't looking over. This topic again? Yea, today was gonna suck as well.

"Is she?" I asked, trying not to express emotion. I knew if I showed the slightest, I'd let my whole guard down and it wouldn't be pretty. Once that guard was down, I'd probably abandon everything I was doing right now and race to the hospital and beg her to take me back. _She_ refused _me_. Not the other way around. I was done. I quit fighting. She wanted me, she'd have to come herself. I'd gotten hurt too much and for far too long by the blonde and her brunette best friend for trying to race after them. And again, Brooke invaded my thoughts. This was starting to become routinely. She came up every time I thought of a dead relationship. I didn't hate her or blame her for anything though. High school was in the past, done with. This was now, 5 years later. We're not teenagers anymore.

"Yea. I mean, a bit at least. I just came back from seeing her. She's still kinda bruised up, but she's trying to be ok. She's strong." I merely nodded. Haley was trying to break me, I knew it; She was trying to make me talk. It wasn't gonna work. I spilled already with Brooke, kinda, but still. She wasn't getting me to talk. The only person I'd talk about Peyton with would be Peyton herself. She would tell me why she left me. I had to know; I had a right to.

"I know she is." Haley sighed softly and I could tell she was about to either lecture me or give up.

"Lucas, you gotta talk to her. She's suffering over this. I know; I've seen her. She's tearing herself up over whatever she did. No, I don't know what she did. I know Brooke went in to see her last night, she might've told her though. But please, Lucas. You're torn up too. I can see it. And I hate both of you like this. You love her and she loves you, you're gonna work through it." Psh, yea right.

"Haven't you heard the expression, Third time's the lucky charm? Yea, it's past three for us, Haley. It's not going to get better. If it was, she would've have left me. At the alter too. And if she had, she would've still at least called during the week that she had disappeared to talk about it, to tell me why she left. She didn't, Hales. It's not happening and I give up on it happening later. It's not meant to be. I'm starting to get it through my head, so should everyone else." She wanted me to talk, there it was. I give. She should stop now. Before she could reply to my rant, I turned my back and my legs made their way towards my room.

Enough was enough. I needed to know. Huh, my own little speech even encouraged myself. Anyways, I was _going _to find out why she left me. I wouldn't leave that damn hospital until she did. Peyton sure as hell owed me an explanation. Haley followed me but as soon as she entered the room and uttered my name, she was gonna ask a question, I was half way out the door.

At least I could drive now. It took me fifteen minutes to get to the hospital I had been to so many times before and an extra five to get in and find the room my ex fiancé was in. I barged in her room. She was awake and her head turned towards me.

"You and I need to talk, Peyton." I didn't bother with hellos. It wouldn't make a difference, this is what it would come to anyways.

She bit her lip and sat up, nodding a bit and motioned towards the chair beside her. "Take a seat, Luke." It sounded like she was talking to a client. How very nice.

I shook my head, putting my hands in my pockets. I was still wearing the same clothes I had on yesterday. "I'm fine." My voice sounded harsh, even to me. But it didn't seem to be any other way to do this. She hadn't contacted me, and this was the first time I had seen the blonde since she left running down the church. Pictures don't count.

She bit her lip and I thought I saw her sulk down in her bed a little. "You owe me an explanation, Peyton."

Her mouth opened and she stayed quiet for a moment, seeming at loss for words. Finally she spoke. "Lucas, I'm so sorry."

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**Buahahaha. I left ya'll wondering what she's gonna say right? I'm so mean haha. Anyways, I _finally _got this chapter up. I swear, it took me FOR-EVER! I had fun writing the parts where he was drunk. xD Anyways, the next chapter's gonna be a Lucas POV as well and oh yea, Sam was in this! Haha, I said she would be in later on. I got this one friend who I roleplay with on myspace and she's RPs Sam so that's where the inspiration came from. So she'll be on from time to time. I just didn't wanna make it obvious with it being Brooke and all and yes, Brooke will most likely be in the next chapter.**

**So, enough will my little rant. Review and make me happy? :] :]**


	8. Impossible

I don't have a lot to say this time surprisingly haha. I'm thinking of doing another Brucas story where they, like, hate each other. Yea, I know the storyline's a bit played out, but it'll be starting out from where the OTH gang's 5. It's a bit like my deleted story was. I'm still thinking about it and thinking about the storyline. So, tell me what you think of it and if you have any ideas on it and what I should add or something, let me know. :]

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_**Last time:** She bit her lip and I thought I saw her sulk down in her bed a little. "You owe me an explanation, Peyton." Her mouth opened and she stayed quiet for a moment, seeming at loss for words. Finally she spoke. "Lucas, I'm so sorry."_

________

**Impossible**

Sorry. The act of ones feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc. This is the main definition for this word. Brooke used it, Haley's used it. I know Nathan has, hell, even Jamie, my little five year old Godson has used it. I know Peyton has, and I'm thinking, for her, it's always the first part. Feeling regret.

It was easy to say I was pissed at the moment. I wasn't feeling down and depressed or feeling like everything was so wrong for not being me and Peyton together. I was probably bipolar, you could call me that. I loved Peyton one second, and now it was like I almost hated her. Do I care at the moment? Not really, no. If I'm being honest, I don't think she's in love with me. Someone who loved someone wouldn't leave them no matter the cause. I guess Lindsey really didn't love me either; she left me at the same place Peyton did. This was just one big screwed up thing. Why me? Again, this was running through my head and my sudden braveness and motion to go get information from Peyton was fading. I had to keep reminding myself how she had left me, how I felt when she did; when she left all those times and I tried to regain the emotion.

"Yea. I know." I curtly replied. Again, my tone of voice was harsh for those three little words. She flinched again and she looked down, playing with her hands in her lap. I waited.

"Just," the blonde I had loved--I don't even know if I'm still in love with her-- looked up at me. Her eyes were looking into mine, pleading for something. It took everything I had to remember what needed my attention. "Just please, let me explain, Lucas."

I raised my eyebrows, giving her a look. I was annoyed. What the hell did she think I've been standing here for? Did she think I came here to just try and talk it out? No, that was done and over with. She lost her chance long ago. Now was the time for her to tell me and get it over so I could know what i did wrong. What we did wrong. Although, if I look over, I find nothing, but she could probably clear it up.

Peyton let out a soft sigh and sat back up again, biting her lip in a nervous fashion. Whatever it was, it seemed like it wasn't going to be good. Then again, something like this would need something really big for a pregnant fiancé to call off the marriage of her supposed loved one the day of the wedding. I crossed my arms. Damn woman was trying my patience.

"I didn't mean to, Lucas. You have to believe me. I swear I didn't. We just...we were...I don't even know. But you have to believe me when I say I love you, Lucas Scott. I really do. I don't know why I did that, but it happened and I couldn't live with myself for hurting you like I did even if--"

...the hell? I was more confused than ever now. What the fuck was she talking about? Hurting me, she did that. What did she mean by 'we'? There was someone else? I raised my hand, cutting her off mid-sentence. "Wait. What are you talking about?"

She looked like she didn't want to explain, but she would've kept her rant and just confused me way more and I'd probably end up having a migraine from trying to figure out the meaning of her words. Today just wasn't the day for that.

"Jake came back." she said so low I almost couldn't understand what the heck she was saying. Jake was back? That was something. Last time I saw him it was Junior year, senior. One of those. I just know it was a while ago. But, what did he have to do with all of _our _problems. Peyton continued. "I didn't tell you because the day I found out, he invited me to lunch and I accepted; you were working on the movie. We talked and all. And when it was time to come home," she bit her lip, pausing. My eyebrow raised and I gave a slight nod, telling her to go on. "He kissed me...and I kissed him back." she whispered again, moving her green eyes down, suddenly interested in the white fabric covering her lower body. I froze.

My throat was dry. He kissed her, she kissed him back. They kissed. I blinked hard once, as if it was just a dream i could wake up from and the blonde in front of me would be lying beside me, asleep and unaware of this. No such luck. They kissed. I couldn't get the image out of my head. I'd seen them kiss before back in high school. Of course, at the time I was in love with Brooke, but it still didn't help the moment I was in _now_.

"You kissed?" apparently, my throat was more dry because the words came out hoarsely than I thought they would. I swallowed and ran a hand through my blonde hair. I gave myself a few more minutes to clear and un-dry my throat. It was during this time, my rage boiled over. She cheated on me. I mean, yea, I cheated on Brooke. But with _Peyton_! The girl in front of me who now apparently cheated...on _me_! God, I couldn't believe this. "You kissed!?" I yelled it this time. I had to wait a few more minutes before I asked the most important question.

"Was it just a kiss?" i asked softly. She didn't look up and I knew she bit her lip. A sniffle escaped from her body and I knew what that meant. It meant, 'no, it was more than just a kiss.' Great.

This was just, there was no word for it. I couldn't describe my feelings. I was beyond pissed, I was furious. My blue eyes narrowed towards her; she still hadn't looked up.

"Peyton, how could you!? I...I thought you loved me. God, and now you go and cheated on me? With Jake nonetheless. I can't believe you! Or him either. Jake, of all people!" Jake had always been one of the people I could talk to. He was the first friend I made when I first joined the Ravens Junior year. I was the first person in the school he told about Jenny besides Whitey. How could he do this to me? Hadn't I proven myself a worthy person over the years and made up for the mistakes I did wrong? My breathing was ragged, heavy. I took a couple deep breaths, licking my lips and had to look away from her. My gaze turned to the window and I stared out onto the tops of buildings, including the one we were on. My hand came up and I pinched the bridge of my nose, shutting my eyes tightly.

"How long?" I whispered quietly so quietly she didn't hear me.

"What?"

"How long were you...with him?" The last part came out almost in a growl. It was harder than I imagined having to actually say it out loud. Saying it like that, just made it reality. There was no going back, no pretending she was kidding. This wasn't some sick joke she would've decided to play on me and in any minute she would just yell "kidding!" No. This wasn't it. It was starting sink in now.

"Oh."

I waited but when she didn't say anything, I sighed. Opening my eyes, I looked at her. She glanced up, but quickly looked down. Apparently, something in my eyes scared her. Didn't surprise me, with what news she just gave me, I would probably fear myself right now if I took a look at myself.

She mumbled something, the answer probably and I strained to hear but was unable to. My eyes looked at her and i raised an eyebrow.

She sighed this time and looked back up at me. Oh, so now she had the courage to face me while she talked. I spoke too soon, she looked back down and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Keep this up and she would wear the whole lifting-and-lowering-the-head-thing out. "A month." she repeated. "Last month." she clarified and kept her gaze, once again, down on her lap.

I stumbled back half a step. Last month. The month before our wedding. My hand went through my hair; I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. _Last month_. Her words were ringing in my ears. I didn't know what to think, what to say. I didn't even know my emotions. I just...this was all too much to take in. I shook my head in disbelief, moving my head and looking away the door. How long would it take me to get across the room and drive away? Five minutes, 10 at the most? I could probably make it before she talked again. I let myself cross the room in 4 strides and my hand was on the doorknob before I, or Peyton for the matter, noticed what I was doing.

"Lucas," I shook my head, opening the door. No more. I couldn't take anymore. This was too much to handle. Why, why now? "Lucas, please?"

But her voice was far away. I walked out the door and shut it behind me, walking as fast as I could. As if my life depended on it. I don't know, but it took me shorter than I presumed to make it to my car, start it up and pull out of the hospital parking lot. She slept with him or he slept with her. It was the same damn difference. They fucked each other. They were together. Hell, if it had been any couple months sooner, the baby she lost probably wouldn't even have been mine. It could've been that bastard's son. But she was pregnant the month before last month; the would've-been-baby was mine.

There was only one person that would probably be able to help me try and forget about Peyton. Jamie. Of course, I wouldn't tell him, but that little boy was so smart he could probably figure out something's wrong and would try to get it out. I wouldn't tell him, then he'd work on moving on to a different topic and trying to cheer me up. Hopefully, he could help distract me.

I focused all my attention on the road then. Knowing my luck, I'd end up getting into a car crash and having the room next to Peyton. _That_ was not on my to-do list.

------

Not long after I knocked on the door of the _other _Scott residence in town, my younger brother, Nathan, opened the door. At first, I couldn't understand his confused expression, then I remembered my isolation from the world world. My emo, hate-the-world moment. I gave him the best small smile I could muster despite the feelings eating away at me on the inside. "What? I haven't been gone that long." I teased him. It didn't help my mood, but he sure smiled a bit and chuckled, stepping aside to let me in.

"Well, not really, but you're out in the daytime. I was starting to think you were turning into this freakish vampire or something." He joked back, but I knew it was serious. Now to think of it, I hadn't been out really except if you count that one day with Brooke but I had been out the whole night and then I just visited Peyton, the most I'd gone out this week. I let it pass and let my business here be told.

"Where's Jamie?"

"He went out with Deb. Haley's upstairs talking with Brooke and I figured that it'd be best if he wouldn't be around. Knowing them, they'd be talking about Pey--" The look I shot him shut him up from saying the name, the very reason I came to find my Godson who apparently isn't here. Well, there goes that plan. Great, now what should I do? Nathan continued. "About what happened. I think we should tell him, but Haley still thinks we should. She just came down telling me. I don't know why the heck not. Must've been something Brooke told her because she seemed kinda pissed and, I don't know, like she was hiding something she really wanted to tell me."

Brooke knew something? That's where he lost my attention. Did the brunette know what Peyton just told me? It'd make some sense. She was Peyton's best friend, they told each other everything. But the fact that Peyton told Brooke first bothered me a bit. Why her? Why not me? I was the other part of the argument here, not Brooke. I held my hand up, my eyebrow furrowing and my head tilting to the side a bit. "Wait, what does Brooke know?"

My brother shrugged. His expression looked like he really wanted in, almost as much as I did. "Dunno. But Haley sure does know."

As if right on cue, my best friend since we were little came bounding down the steps. She didn't notice me the first time as she passed; Nathan and I exchanged a look. I raised my eyebrow and he shrugged. When she came back, she had an aspirin in her hand and a glass of water in the other and finally took note of me. The look of shock she gave me looked like she was about to drop the glass, but she quickly composed and gave me a small smile; her confused expression overpowered the smile.

"Luke, what are you doing here?"

"Can't a guy come to see his nephew?" I looked around, at Nathan, and then back at Haley. "Obviously he's not here so you can do." I tried to joke. It made Haley smile, but me? Not so much. Haley rolled her eyes and suddenly remembered the glass and medicine in her hand. "I gotta get these to Brooke, give me a minute."

Brooke, huh? This was too perfect. "I could take them."

Two pair of eyes turned to me at the same time. Both confused and wondering. Haley was staring at me, as if I was crazy. Honestly, was there something wrong with wanting to take my friend some medication? I don't think there is. Nathan almost matched hers but he had his eyebrow raised as if I had just asked the most stupidest question in the world. I gave them a look and raised my own eyebrow in confusion. "What?"

Haley shook her head, as if she was trying to come back and say 'nothing' at the same time. She handed me the water and the pills and I took them in my hand. "Just walk in quietly, Brooke's got a big headache. She's in our room." She said simply and before she could say anymore, I nodded and made my way towards the master bedroom. I could feel their stares on me, but for whatever reason, my motive for wanting to know what Peyton told Brooke had me almost speed walking to the room, but I didn't want to make it obvious.

When I poked my head in, Brooke sat on Nathan and Haley's bed; head in her hand and eyes closed. She had her other hand, rubbing her temple with two fingers in a circular motion. I gathered my courage and made my way in slowly, shutting the door quietly behind me then made my way towards Brooke, standing in front of her. She must've felt my presence because she opened her eyes and at first was shocked. I silently handed her the aspirin and water and she looked like she was internally wondering what my brother and sister-in-law were in the living room. I sighed and moved my hand a bit, motioning for her to take what I had offered. "Thanks." She whispered in her usual husky voice and took the objects from my hands.

I watched as she dropped the little pill-looking thing into the water and saw it dissolve. She then brought the glass to her lips and drank it. While she was doing this, I sat down beside her on the queen sized bed. How was I going to ask her something like this? I wasn't about to just open my mouth and go 'Hey, Brooke. How ya doing? Listen, I need to know what Peyton told you. She just told me what happened so I want to know if we got the same facts. By the way, how's the clothing line coming?' I internally shook my head. That definitely wasn't the way of approach with this. Besides, I had to seem like a heartbroken guy, which I was at the moment. I just happened to cover it up very well, much to my surprise. And probably everyone else's. They probably were more surprised than me. In a way, I kind of figured this, I kind of knew she was going to do this. Well, not know in the sense than I actually knew she was going to _cheat_, but know in the sense of I knew what she was _capable _of. I mean, I had been the Jake at one point, so who's to say I was the last person she'd have an affair with?

"Brooding again?" Brooke's voice brought me out of my reverie. I smoothed out my face, which, much to my dismay, let my emotions be told since my brooding face was in place, thus, giving me away. I shook my head but she only gave me a look. At this point, I just shrugged and placed my forearms to rest on my legs.

"Maybe."

"Wanna talk about it?"

This was it, my opening. Question was, should I take it? Did I really _want_ to know what Peyton told Brooke? ... Yea, I did. "I talked to Peyton." This would be a good starter.

I turned my head so I was looking at the brunette next to me. Her expression was a bit surprised, but more anxious than anything. "Oh?"

"Yea. She, uh," I stopped for half a second. It was harder to say the words now. "She told me what happened."

"She did?"

"Yea." I stopped, longer this time. "She told me why she left me at the alter." I guessed if I said this, I could probably see if she knew or not.

I studied her face before she answered. Either I wasn't paying attention or she had a really good poker face, because her expression was the same. Not one relaxed muscle out of its place.

"Oh."

"She told me about Jake."

She bit down on her lip and glanced at the ground for a second before looking at me again. She knew. That's all she needed to do. Brooke knew before me what had happened with my ex fiancé. This was a load of crap. And by the way she was here already, Haley probably knew by now. No wonder Nathan had said she had been acting weird. Am I always the last to get filled in on crap? Especially when it involves me. That's just great.

"You knew, didn't you?" I was going to make her admit it now. She couldn't run from hiding it, I was almost as mad as I was with Peyton in the morning. If she knew, why, why would she keep this from me? It was my life, didn't I deserve to know? I would've found out one way or another so it was a waste of time to just keep it to herself. Brooke let out a soft breath and looked away, running her hand through her hair and looked at me.

"I wanted to tell you, Luke. Trust me, you were the first person that came to my mind." Bull.

"Then why didn't you, Brooke? I waited, and waited for Peyton to call me that week. For her to explain what I did wrong and it turns out, _she _was the one that did wrong all along. Not me, and I was sitting there, blaming myself. And you let it happen!"

Here we go again. I stood up, turning and facing her after I did. Enough was enough. I knew I had flared her temper; her eyes showed it. They sparkled with anger and she followed my suit, setting the water she had down on the dresser beside the bed. "I didn't know last week, Lucas. I just found out last _night_. So don't you dare blame me for something I didn't know about."

"You still didn't tell me." I contradicted. "You could've called me, or something last night. But _no_," I emphasized the word. "You kept it to yourself. Not even, you came as soon as Haley was probably awake and told her. I'm betting you Haley knew just a couple minutes before I walked through that damn door." She didn't say anything again and I scoffed, nodding and gave her a bitter smile. "Haley knew before me too. What, was I the last to know?"

She shook her head and I thought I saw her clench her fists at her side but I wasn't paying attention to that. "I just told you I wanted to tell you. Don't you damn well listen? God, men are idiots. I told Haley because I had to tell someone. Don't you know secrets like that eat away at a person? That's what it was doing to me, Lucas. It was killing me that I couldn't tell you so I told Haley. Nathan doesn't know either, but I guess your damn yelling must've already let him know."

"Then why didn't you tell me, Brooke? Answer me that. Why didn't you? You had time, you could've called, like I said--"

"Because this was Peyton's fight to battle. Yours and Peyton's!" She yelled, cutting my off at mid sentence. "She was the one that had to tell you. Not me. If I would've told you, we'd still probably be having this fight, only the reason for the fight would be why she told me first and not you. Don't you see, Lucas, I couldn't tell you. I just couldn't. What if Nathan was cheating on Haley?"

"Easy; I'd kick his ass."

She sighed and shook her head. Brooke ran a hand through her hair, her petite body letting out a sigh. "That's being hypocritical." She said after a few minutes. She had spoken so low I couldn't comprehend what she said and it took me a few seconds.

"Hypocritical?"

She merely nodded.

"How so, please; explain that to me."

Her brown eyes changed into a hint of sadness and she looked at me wearily. "Junior and Senior year." and I stopped. So this is where this was headed. "You cheated on me, with Peyton. That's how it's being hypocritical. I'm not talking about with Nathan. Because I know he'd never ever do that to Haley. But I'm talking about why you're so upset at Peyton. You both knew that you were capable of cheating on one another. Maybe you didn't realize it, but I'm sure you do now. It's always been there, deep inside you, Lucas. You cheated on me, with her. So why couldn't she be the one lying to her lover this time? Peyton probably knows real deep inside that you were capable of cheating on her, like you did with me before. But it never came across your mind because you were 'oh so in love with her.'" Her words cut me deep. This time, my temper flared to life, more so than it had been before.

"That was a long time ago and you know damn well how sorry I am for that." I almost whispered, then raised my voice. "I was real sorry for that, Brooke. I never meant to hurt you. But no one decides who you love."

Brooke only rolled her eyes and scoffed like I had. "It still hurt the same, Lucas." Those were almost the exact words she had told me Junior year. Funny. It was weird how I could remember that. "Yea, you can't decide who you love. So I couldn't decide that I had fallen in love with you. But you decided that apparently you didn't love me back. Apparently, Peyton was much too important."

I don't know what caused my next movements. Maybe I was angry at her for thinking that I thought she wasn't important in some way to me. Or maybe I was just angry. Maybe I just didn't know what the hell I was doing and I just jumped on my instincts. I crossed the few steps in between the two of us and grabbed her face in my hands. Even with how angry I was, it was amazing I was still carefully making sure she wasn't harmed. Without thinking, which I'm sure I mentioned already, I let my lips crash against Brooke's.

I didn't feel like me anymore. I felt like the Lucas back in senior year. The one dating Brooke. Her lips still fit perfectly against mine. She was kissing me back so they still moved perfectly together. It took me a second to realize what we were both doing and I pulled away. The kiss lasted longer than I thought, because, apparently, i was breathing a bit harder than I was before.

"Still think she's more important?" I whispered. But I didn't give her a chance to answer because I was gone. I let go of the brunette and dashed my way out of the room, past the living room and ignoring Nathan and Haley calling my name for me to come back. What happened back there, was just about to make things a whole lot more complicated.

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**BRUCAS KISS! Whoo! I know you all have been waiting for that, because, so was I! haha, and I was typing this. I love this chapter. But, next chapter, it'll be split up. Half Luke's POV, half Brooke's POV. I mean, we need to know what they're both thinking right? :] So...REVIEW! :]**


	9. What I've Realized

Alrighty, so I really wanted to get this story going and be updating faster. Hopefully, your reviews will help me with that. :] I loved the last chapter's reviews, some made me laugh and that's a good thing. See, I've been going to the gym everyday for two weeks now, which is something I'd never actually do. But, my quincenera is in July and I really need to lose the extra fat for my dress haha. I've been really tired to even get on the computer, but seeing ya'lls reviews really made me want to just keep writing. So here. :]

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_**Last time:** "Still think she's more important?" I whispered. But I didn't give her a chance to answer because I was gone. I let go of the brunette and dashed my way out of the room, past the living room and ignoring Nathan and Haley calling my name for me to come back. What happened back there, was just about to make things a whole lot more complicated._

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**What I've Realized**

**Lucas' POV:**

What the hell did I just do back there? Ok, that was simple. I kissed Brooke Davis. Of course, that's not what I meant. I loved Brooke, sure, but not in that way. I haven't felt that way since Senior Year. So what drove me to do it? She was just there, we were arguing and the next second, literally, I had kissed her. She hadn't kissed me. _I _kissed _her_. This was bad. What if Peyton found out? It wasn't like we slept with each other, but probably in her eyes it would be. It was the same with Brooke. She acted like we had slept together while I was with her, which was pretty ridiculous if you ask me. But there it went again, thinking of the past relationship. Why was Brooke in my head so much nowadays? Couldn't she just leave me be in my thoughts at least?

I was sitting in my car, a street that was empty just a block or two away from Haley's. My thoughts were consuming me. I still just didn't know what it was that drove me to do that. It was driving me crazy. I couldn't stand it. First I faced Peyton in the morning, then Brooke just now. What was it? A day of Ex's? There wasn't anything I could think to do. God, this was just great. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, leaning back against the leather seat in my car.

I didn't feel the same things I felt long ago. ...Right?

------

**Brooke's POV:**

"Still think she's more important?" Lucas' voice whispered in my ear. Before I could even remark a smart reply or even know what happened, his body was out the door. The only thing that ran through my mind at the moment was his lips. Lucas' soft lips. I brought my hand slowly up to my lips, touching them slightly as if I really felt them the tingle still there would be gone. I didn't want that. Wait, what? What am I thinking!? No. No, I don't want his lips against mine again. No...Right?

Don't ask me what happened. One minute, Lucas and I were arguing over our past relationship and next thing I know, my lips are against his. Not only did he kiss me, but I kissed him back. Now that wasn't me. No, sir. I...Why didn't I push him away? I finally shook my head, realizing what I was doing. No, not this again. I don't,and I repeat _DON'T_,have feelings for Lucas Scott anymore. He's my past and that's all he ever will be to me now. Even if I would try to avoid it, even if he most definitely would try not to avoid it, we'd have to talk about the kiss. Or maybe it was the other way around; truth be told, I wanted to know why He had kissed me. It was weird, well, to say the least; still, he had done it. But also, another part of me didn't want to know. What if it was like when I was leaving for California all over again? He'd tell me he still likes me or, most unlikely, love me; I'd end up crying and running out on him.

No.

He was the reason I even closed my heart up in the first place. I didn't want hurt anymore. I gave him God knows how many chances, he blew them all. No, I wasn't dealing with it again. It's a stupid theory anyways. He doesn't love me, just like I don't love him. Or even like in any way other than friendship. For Christ's Sake, he was engaged to my best friend. That's definitely showing he's not interested. Huh, knowing him, he probably would try to get me, just to get a girl. No. Stupid, stupid Brooke. Lucas isn't like that. He's one of the only nice guys you'd ever meet. He's helped me out countless of times and gave me the benefit of the doubt and just, well, just believed in me. I loved him dearly for that too. But the keyword there was loved. Past tense. I mean, I still love him, but not in the way I used to. That feeling left in high school.

Ha, now I know I'm going _loca_. I keep repeating the same damn thing AND I just spoke spanish. The little thought made me roll my eyes and I sort of snapped out of my trance I was in. I made my way slowly towards Naley's bed and took a seat but before I could think anymore, Haley burst into the room.

"What the hell happened, Brooke?" Well hi to you too.

I only sighed and shrugged, biting the inside of my lip instinctively.

She gave me a look and I knew didn't believe me. But should I tell her? Should she know exactly what happened between me and my ex boyfriend? I don't really think so; she'd find out anyways, maybe not soon...Oh, who am I kidding? I gotta tell Haley. Now that I don't trust to tell anything Peyton; she's already in the hospital, I don't need to be making matters worse. I stood up straight and moved from biting the inside of my lip to my actual bottom lip.

"It's a lot to explain." I whispered softly. This was the best way to start it off. I patted the space next to me and she slowly came over, taking a light seat next to me. "He came up; we talked a bit. But we started arguing because I knew about the whole Jake thing before him and told you before him. It was starting to get ugly; Our past relationship got into the conversation...somehow. And," I stopped for a second. Could I say this? "And then he came up to me and...kissed me." My voice was a whisper by the time I finished. I knew I at least had to tell one person or else I'd turn into a madwoman. I mean, who would I have gone to advice to? Sam? She's too young right now to probably understand how this makes me, him, Peyton or anyone else feel. Haley was probably my best choice. She had been there through Peyton and Lucas' time and also through mine and Lucas' time. She knew everything, and now, literally everything.

I glanced up and peeked at Haley through my eyelashes, biting on my lip again. Her eyes were wide, her jaw dropped. She showed the shock my face never showed. "Oh. My. God." That's all she said. I knew she was probably screaming on the inside; I'd be freaking too if I was in her position.

"Say something, Haley. Please?" She had to say something, anything. I started to freak out. Why? Not so sure. But I knew I was.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just know that one minute we were fighting and like that," I snapped my fingers. "His lips were on mine."

Suddenly, I felt like I was making Lucas seem like the bad guy. I mean, he wasn't with Peyton...at the moment that is. Haley probably still thinks they're gonna get together still, so what if she yelled at him now? I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't think of anything to say to make him look like he wasn't the one to make him kiss me, because the truth is that he did kiss me and I didn't tell him or invoke any body language to make him think that. At least I don't think I did. I was pretty angry, I knew that much and he was angry... No, I couldn't think of anything.

"Well, there has to be a reason, Brooke. Maybe..." She sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair then slumped her shoulders. "I don't know." Haley was smart, but probably not too smart to get into Lucas Scott's head. No offense to Haley in anyway, because I don't think anyone really could. He could be brooding in a time of crisis and you'd think it's about the situation and it's a whole different thing. Or he could have a serious face at a game for something that happened last week. Although that theory was highly unlikely.

I sighed and shook my head as well, placing my elbows on my legs and putting my head in my hands. "I don't either." I replied softly. This was wrong, this was so wrong. I couldn't be doing this to Peyton. Maybe Lucas was just hurting. Yeah, that's it...No, he was angry. Not hurt at the moment. Sigh.

I didn't know, I just didn't know. There was a million questions unanswered. Why did he kiss me? Why did our relationship come up? Ok, that one was easy; I was the dumbass to bring it up. Next question, where did this leave us? I didn't want to talk, he probably didn't; we had to. Did we have to tell Peyton? I can't lie to her. But I can't hurt her either. Last but not least...Why did I...I hate to admit this, but I knew finally what the feeling was...Why did I _like_ it?

Haley placed a hand on my back and rubbed it softly. It was her own little way of comforting me without saying anything. She probably didn't know exactly what I was thinking, but she knew I was confused. And as sure as hell I was.

God, why'd did life have to be so complicated.

------

I spent the rest of the day with Haley, talking off and on about the situation. I know she was dying to know more, probably exact words, but I only gave her a few facts. I couldn't talk much about it. It didn't exactly feel right for some reason. This was me and Lucas' problem and we had to solve it.

Whoa. Hold your horses, Davis. He's not your boyfriend, he's your friend. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

That's the way it's always gonna be. We tried a relationship, we failed.

I was sitting in the kitchen, Haley getting take out. I sniffed and realized my tears were about to overflow. But why? Lucas had been my friend now for like, 5 years now. Why was I crying? I realized I felt the same way I felt when he told me he loved me and I was leaving. Oh my God. No, no. No, no, no, no. Oh my God. I'm such a horrible friend. This wasn't happening, not to me. But it was. I guess I'm prone for bad relationship statuses. I officially realized something I thought would never happen to me again in my life. I was in love. And not just with anyone, with Lucas Scott. He was my best friend's. They were meant to be. I finally knew why I had those bad feelings toward Peyton and why I wanted to taste his lips again. But if I did this, it's just bring up everything all over again. Nope, i wouldn't do this. I'd just have to keep it a secret, not even Haley could know. Just me, myself, and I. But how long would that last?

"I'm back. Chinese ok?" Haley's voice floated to me from the hall in the front.

"It's fine." I said as she walked in. She took in my facial expression and time hadn't been on my side because I didn't have enough to compose it. "You ok?" She questioned, and with my delicate state, I questioned myself.

I composed myself and offered the best smile I could. "Perfect."

If only.

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**Sorry it's short. I just really wanted this part up. So, Brooke just realized she's in love with Lucas. The moment we've been waiting for! Let's see how much longer it'll be kept a secret, or how much time until Lucas realizes his own feelings. As always, review; it makes me really happy. :)**

**PS: I have another story up that's Lucas/Brooke/Dean triangle. It's under crossover with Brooke/Dean but that's only because I didn't know where else to put it. It's called Three Screwed Up Lives. Check it out and review it. :)**


	10. I'm Not Over

So my mood's been down lately. My mom and sister can be bitches and my dad's been an ass lately and not called. I had a fight with my best friend, but we're good now haha. Also, SOLs are here. Joy. So everyone's been pressuring about getting those and making sure they're ok. Hell, my teacher even asked me if I wanted to take another 45 minutes to review all 60 questions because I had an hour left. Haha. I said no.. xD But enough about me. You're here for Brooke and Lucas, not me, haha, so here you go.

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_**Last time:** "Everything ok?" I composed myself and offered the best smile I could. "Perfect." If only._

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**I'm Not Over**

**Brooke's POV:**

Why did this have to happen to me? I hated it. After eating our dinner and watching a couple movies, I decided it was time to let Haley go back to her life. I didn't tell her my realization yet, it wasn't time. She was probably still registering the fact that Lucas and I had kissed even I didn't seem it a big deal. Maybe because Lucas and Peyton just broke up? It could be a reason. Either way, staying there any longer might make me tell her more of my thoughts, and I loved Haley dearly, I did. I just wasn't ready to talk about anything just now.

So, at the early time of nine thirty, I was home, in my pajamas and sitting in my room. A Friends marathon was on, so I tuned into that. At first, my mind kept wandering, unfortunately, to all the events that took place today. That wasn't something I liked to keep thinking about. It wasn't healthy, not for me. But thankfully, the beginning of of the third episode, my attention was captured. It stayed like that until the time of eleven, where I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. the days events were taking a huge toll on me. The fighting, the confession by Peyton last night, the kiss, and my realization. Hell, it was enough to wipe a person out. So i turned the tv off and curled up under my blanket I had around me.

In a few minutes, I was asleep, though I wished I had stayed up longer, because my dream was one I didn't feel like reliving.

------

_Gavin Degraw's 'More Than Anyone' was playing in the backround. I was dancing with Lucas. Now, I loved being in his arms, don't get me wrong, even now, when I was annoyed by the fact that Peyton had questioned if I loved Lucas and the fact that she had feelings for him, the confession, still replaying in my head, I still felt wonderful. He could tell I was annoyed, and before he talked, my eyes were set on the people around me dancing._

_"So you going to tell me what this is about?" He questioned me and I looked at him._

_"Maybe you should tell me about it."_

_Lucas looked away for a minute and then gave me a look. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked me softly._

_I didn't know how to continue, so I just let it out. "Peyton told me some things about the two of you." I commented as we spinned around, dancing._

_He sighed silently and looked down, then lifted his head again, not looking at me at first. "Brooke," He started. "I that you're worried about my past with Peyton. But you've got understand the circumstances this time. You know?" No, I didn't know. What does he mean? "I mean, God, she was bleeding and she thought she was going to die. I mean, the kiss, it-it meant nothing."_

_I stared at him, my eyebrows furrowing. Kiss? "What kiss?" We stopped dancing. I was still staring at him. "Did you kiss her again?" Great, this was perfect. _

_He didn't say anything. His eyes said it all. He had kissed her. Lucas, _MY _Lucas, had kissed Peyton. Again! This was just perfect. He stared at me, his eyes saddened a bit. I permitted myself one look over at Peyton, who was dancing with Coop. So that was where all the emotion came from. That's why she had told me she still liked him, because she had kissed him. I took a step back from him, looking at my so called 'boyfriend' again and I silently scoffed to myself, walking away and leaving him standing on the dance floor, alone and standing still._

_He found me searching for my purse a couple minutes later in the room we had set up for the wedding party, the girls._

_"Look, Brooke. I need you to listen to me, ok? I understand that you didn't know about the kiss and I'm sorry for springing it on you but I meant what I said. It didn't mean anything." Did he just say that?_

_We had been traveling from the small tables, well, I was, in search of my bag and he was following me. My head snapped up and I looked at him with accusing eyes. "A kiss always means something."_

_"Ok, well, maybe you're right. But it wasn't a romantic moment. You'd know that if-"_

_"If what? I was there?" I cut him off. "As you so sweetly pointed out at the party-the party that I threw for you-I wasn't there, was I?" My voice was hard. He had hurt me so bad that day. I could still remember how I felt even though I hated the feeling. He had been the one to leave me in the first place. He had practically just took off running while Coach Whitey shoved me into the bus. How the hell could I have been there?_

_His head lowered and he stared at the table for a minute. I was about to throw all these purses at the wall; he handed me another one. "Is it impossible for you to forgive me? I forgave you." I gave him an incredulous look._

_"For what?" Yes, for what? Please, enlighten me._

_"For sleeping with Chris Keller."_

------

I had woken up with a start then. I hated that day. The day before I broke up with Lucas. I could feel the emotions piling up as fresh as the day it happened. My eyes glossed over just like they had that day. I remember not even worrying if my makeup was going to smear. I had felt hurt, deeply hurt. He had brought up something we both hated. I couldn't...I still can't, believe he did that. I was drunk, he was with Rachel, I don't even remember what had come over me.

But right now, it didn't matter. I realized the moisture in my eyes had brimmed over and I was crying silently now. why had I fallen for him again? This was a sign. The dream was a sign. One reminding me that time after time he would always go back to Peyton, always. I knew it. There was no use fighting it. I was right. _People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end. _Well it wasn't me and Lucas, it was Lucas and Peyton.

I was just torturing myself more, because my tears were falling faster and they were fatter. How I managed to keep myself quiet and not to wake Sam up, was a miracle to me. But my tears kept flowing, and I felt I needed this. He had hurt me when we were together, and even now, five years or whatever time later, he was still affecting me. Dazzling me, making me fall for him; He even made me cry now. And he didn't even know it. My tears were starting to slow now. I don't know how long this had been going on. Thirty minutes? Probably was more but I didn't feel it. My head wearily turned to the clock on the bedside beside me. It read 3 A.M. I distinctly remember seeing 2 A.M. when I had first woken up. Well, I guess time does fly by, not just when you're having fun. When you're depressed as well.

I curled up again, the tears were coming much slower now. One or two falling every three minutes wasn't that bad. I stared towards my windows that the curtains were holding closed. What was the world doing now? Most people sleeping right? Some partying, and maybe, there were some like me. Staring out their own window, broken hearted, wondering the same things I was. The world was funny like that. You could say one thing and immediately say 'jinx!' because someone else in the world is saying probably the same thing right now. In the same language or not.

I found my eyelids heavy, but I couldn't go back to sleep. I wasn't gonna be able to. The fear of the dream was keeping me up. I didn't want this whole waking-up-and-sobbing thing to happen again. I don't think I had the strength or the tears for that. They had all been shed tonight. They didn't need to come back for the same reason. For Lucas Scott. Thinking about it, I was now wondering how many times, how many nights I had actually stayed up crying at night, all night, for the blonde haired boy that captured my heart Junior and Senior year and I was just finding out now that he never gave it back. Too many. I couldn't remember all, but the ones I did were just too many. I'm guessing that's what love did. Make you do crazy things, make you cry, make you happy. It depended on your situation, and mine was probably the one-sided type of love. Worst kind there could be. You love someone, and they don't love you back. I doubt Lucas loves me like I love him. We're _friends _in his mind. And after we broke up senior year, he's thought us that way. It was my fault I even let him go. If not, would things be different? Would we be married now? Kids?

Maybe, maybe we'd just be broken up after realizing we never actually really were meant to be, and I'd might be in the same place I am now, or in the place of happiness where we're the best of friends and everything's ok. But there's no such place as that. There could never be. That would only be one of two perfect worlds; the other being one where we're together and everything's right. Perfect worlds didn't exist unless in it's in the mind.

All this thinking was wearing me out and pretty soon, I felt my eyes droop and close against my own will. But I found out soon, after falling deep into sleep, the rest of night was dreamless, which was fine by me.

------

**Lucas' POV:**

The rest of my day was spent uneventful. Which actually surprised me, the way my day had been going so far I half expected Lindsey to show up and beg me not to marry Peyton. Ha, what a Field Day she would have learning I wasn't with the blonde anymore and we broke up, she lost our baby and I kissed my ex girlfriend. But she didn't show up and that was something I was happy about. I didn't need anything, but she wouldn't come back. It's been, what, five months? For all she knew, I was happily engaged. But that was ok, just meant she wasn't about to bother me.

The only sleep I got was a three hour nap after I got home. After that I couldn't sleep. My mind just kept bugging me. The question that kept repeating over and over was the one about why did I kiss Brooke?

Why exactly?

------

It seemed like many hours I contemplated this because before I knew it, the sun was breaking through the night sky and it was five in the morning. A run might do me good. I decided that, so no matter how tired I was, I forced myself out of bed, got changed and plugged my iPod in. My feet went outside and instantly started jogging, turning into a run after a couple minutes of jogging. The air was fresh, the music in my ears kept me going. For a minute I forgot about the problems I had. I remembered I was the Lucas the loved running and playing basketball. The way I was before the whole real drama started. I guess in some ways, it brought me good things. I got closer to Nathan and had two good relationships with Peyton and Brooke. If it wasn't for me, Haley would probably be dating another guy instead of being married to the love of her life and Nathan wouldn't have been changed because of her. Jamie wouldn't be here. But there was always bad. The love triangle, the whole Dan wants to be a better dad. But that was the way it would always be. High school was like that, and the life we lived now, well, that was just how it was. Life couldn't be changed.

By the time I got home, it was seven in the morning. I had left around five thirty. An hour and a half wasn't bad at all. At least my mind cleared for a bit. But there had to be something else to keep my mind off again for a bit. Then I remembered Sam. I was drunk, so I vaguely remember that she was the one to take me home. I had to thank her... but she lived with Brooke. Nope, I wouldn't go. But today was a school day, if I waited until later, I might go crazy, and when I got there, Brooke could be there. Of course, she could be there now, but she could be at the store, or still asleep. Sam was an early riser from what Haley told me, so it seemed my only chance was now.

My shower I took lasted fifteen minutes with an extra ten to get changed. I was done in record time, racing against the clock because honestly, I didn't want to talk to Brooke at the moment. I mean, how was I to explain myself, because that's where our conversation would lead if I saw her. I didn't even know my own thoughts so I had no way to tell her anything. All I knew was that I kissed her and there could be a reason behind it, but I wasn't sure what that was just yet though. All this I thought on the way to Brooke's house. And before I could become a coward again, I got out, walking up to the front door and knocked lightly. I hoped Sam could hear, because if I knocked louder, Brooke might answer and I already explained my reason for not wanting that.

Luck was with me so far because Sam opened the door. Apparently she was getting ready to leave because she was dressed in school clothes and her book bag was slung over her shoulder. Her expression was confused and she raised an eyebrow when she saw me standing there. "Well, you sure look better than the last time I saw you." She commented, adding a small smirk in there.

I only smiled and shook my head a bit. "Yea, hi to you too." She only shrugged, stepping aside a bit and after I walked in the doorway, closed the door. I didn't go too far in the house, because if I did, it wouldn't be as easy to just turn around, grab the doorknob, and leave. "I came here to thank you." I stated my case.

The mini Brooke, yea, I remembered it, offered me a small smile and nodded her head once. "it's no problem. I mean, I'm sure you wouldn't want any of you Tree Hill hotties to see you like that. They'd bring on the 20 Questions crap over you. And with your drunken state, I'm pretty sure you would've either said the truth or said something far from the truth." Damn, this girl was good.

I let out a soft chuckle and nodded slightly. "You may have a point, but how did you get there."

"I was at the diner then walked around a bit. Jack was with me and he noticed you go in there, so we sat outside of Tric for a while before he decided it was time to go home. He left, I walked in, and I think you might remember the rest." Well, I can say one thing. The girl had a knack for shortening things up.

I nodded and ran a hand through my hair. "Well, still, thanks. Does Brooke know-"

Sam immediately shook her head, her eyes widening a bit. "No. And don't tell her please. I don't want her thinking I'm sneaking out to bars late at night. I had actually snuck out that night." I raised an eyebrow. I thought she was getting better. "Hey, a kid needs a little rebellion now and then." she defended herself, sticking her chin up a fraction of an inch.

I shook my head with a small smile and placed my hands in my pockets. "I won't tell her." I promised her, and she grinned in response.

"Lucas?" Brooke's voice floated to us and my head snapped in the direction it came from. Damn it. I should've cut this short. 'Thank you for helping me get home.' 'you're welcome' and I should've been gone. Now she had caught me. She was in her robe, a grey one I've never seen her in before. Her hair was a mess from her putting it up so hastily and she was staring at me in surprise. Sam was watching the two of us; her head snapping from her to me and back again. Finally, she got the hint that she wasn't involved in this conversation but I wished she didn't. I needed someone there so she didn't bring up the incident.

"Well, school's calling my name. See ya Brooke. Lucas." She nodded once at the both of us and she was gone. We were alone.

"Brooke," I started, but she shook her head slightly. I noticed the circles under her eyes, very dark as if she hadn't slept. And around her eyes it was red, as if she had been crying.

"Just go, please." She whispered.

This took me by surprise. She didn't want to talk? Wait, I thought she'd _want _to. I'm guessing what ever the reason was, it had something to do with her puffy eyes and no sleep thing. Now I wasn't going to budge. Brooke may have been a person I wanted to avoid at first, but I needed to know what was wrong. I cared about her. I shouldn't leave her like this. "Brooke," I tried again.

She bit her lip and shook her head again, walking to the door and opening it. "Please." She whispered and looked down. This wasn't over. I made me way over, walking to the door and walked outside; the door shut behind me. I was going to find out, I wasn't about to leave Brooke like this.

------

**Brooke's POV:**

My previous dream flooded toward me as I saw him there. He said my name and I shook my head. I told him to leave. I couldn't see him, not right now. I didn't even care that he wouldn't or would want to talk about the kiss. I didn't. It only hurt me much more than it should have and that was the reason I didn't need him there. He spoke my name again, and even in the concerned tone he said it, it still sounded perfect coming from his lips, his voice.

I couldn't take it. I walked to the door, opening it and that was the best hint there was to say 'Get Out.' "Please." I pleaded, my voice a whisper and he walked out. As soon as he left, I shut the door, locking it and my eyes glossed over. I couldn't let him have this effect on me. It was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He was in love with Peyton. And there was only one reason or two I was staying in Tree Hill. Sam and the Naley family. I couldn't leave Haley or Jamie and even if we didn't talk a lot, Nathan was still close. I'd just have to suck it up. Great.

______

**whoo! Another chapter finished. Sorry if at the end it gets lame. My fingers hurt from typing cause I was working on this all day haha. But it's worth it. I'm pretty pleased with this chapter but leave reviews to let me know what you think. :)**


	11. Over and Over

Sooo, I'm mad at the moment. Well, pissed would be the appropriate word, but mad and pissed, same thing. Ha. But writing always helps and I can't afford more delay because I know there are people waiting for this chapter. :) So, here you go.

______

_**Last time:** I'd just have to suck it up. Great._

______

**Over and Over**

**Brooke's POV:**

After Lucas had left, I realized I couldn't always be spending the time like I was now. Vulnerable. Pathetic. Yes, it was pathetic.

Lucas couldn't have this affect on me each time I saw him or heard his voice over the phone; saw his picture in a magazine or thought of him. It was really, like I said before and enunciating now, _pathetic_. I mean, I only realized I was still in love with him, what, last night? And all of a sudden I was acting as if I'd known this forever. Maybe I had. Maybe deep down in my heart I knew that I was always in love with him, that he had always been the one for me. The one to believe in me like I believed in him. He picked up the pieces of my broken heart when Angie left me and I helped him when Peyton turned down his proposal. Maybe I had always known he was the Yin to my Yang. But I wasn't his. His own was Peyton, weather he saw it now or not. Everyone else saw it; they were meant to be.

There were two little voices in my head. One telling me that I was being crazy. Lucas was mine and always had been mine. And the other telling me that I was just beating myself up more and that I should just forget about him. Both of these did different things to my heart. The first made my head beat faster, wishing and hoping with all my might it was true. The second, made my heart fall. It was too hard to even _think _about forgetting the blonde haired, blue eyed boy that had stolen my heart since high school. I couldn't do that. It was like telling Haley to leave Nathan and never love him again. It was impossible; I couldn't stand it.

I couldn't let my mind linger too long on this. It was driving me to a point where I'd probably end up on the couch with the tv off and a pint of ice cream in my hands. First on the agenda was a shower. It would help clear my mind. I made my way upstairs into the big house I used to share with my blonde haired best friend and now shared with my foster daughter. I grabbed my towel from the linen closet and made my way towards the bathroom. I stripped and got in. I had been right. As soon as the warm water hit my skin, my body instantly relaxed. I closed my eyes and let the water run for a bit. My mind ran different scenarios in this short amount of time. Lucas' face in a smile, the way he looked when Peyton left him. When he kissed me.

I opened my eyes. Snap out of it, Brooke! Jesus. Could I do anything or go anywhere without seeing his face? I'm pretty sure the answer would've been no if I was being honest with myself. I shook my head and ran a hand over my hair, biting my lip. I spent the rest of my shower focusing on the water and washing myself.

I got out in a shorter time than expected and wrapped my towel around my wet body, making my way to my room. Thankfully, my bathroom was right in my room so I only had a few steps to take. Work. Random thought, but work could help get my mind off of anything. It worked when I started Clothes Over Bros and it sure as hell could work now. I got dressed in a tank top and jeans. I was feeling casual today. Over that, I placed a light denim jacket and my heels came on. I wouldn't let Lucas linger on my mind much longer...I hoped.

------

**Lucas' POV:**

I couldn't understand it. It seemed that was the only thing I could understand these days.

At first, I could understand why Peyton had left me. I did now. I couldn't understand why it had been me to lose so much, and that I still didn't have an answer to. And I didn't understand two things about Brooke. One question that had been plaguing me ever since it happened and truth be told, it was getting annoying now. By now, it was obvious I was talking about our kiss. And the second thing was how she looked this morning. She looked so much not like the Brooke I was used to seeing. I mean, I had seen her that way before, but no often. The last time I can actually remember seeing her like that was when we were at the airport, when Angie left. It broke Brooke's heart and I could see it. I missed that little girl. She could've put a smile on anyone's face just by giving them their own smile.

When Brooke practically shoved me out of her house, I didn't actually leave. My car was parked in front and i just got in. The engine hadn't been started up, I was just sitting there, the keys weren't even in the ignition. I had no intention of leaving just yet. I promised myself I'd find out, and I was going to keep that. Truth be told, it hurt when she told me to leave. She couldn't talk to me, and that's not what friends were. She was always helping people out, always putting everyone else before her even when they didn't deserve it. And she couldn't even talk to me. She either must be really mad at me, or I don't even know what.

It felt like forever later, and it was probably only half a hour later, that Brooke came out. She looked ready to go somewhere, determination on her face. Determination for what? Knowing Brooke, she was probably going someone to distract herself, that was herself. And she probably wouldn't talk to anyone about this, or why she was crying. For some reason, i felt I was partially responsible for the reason of her tears, and my stomach twisted in a knot at this thought. I actually wanted to talk to her now, no matter if it was about the kiss or not. I hated seeing her like this and I wanted to help her, no matter what. But, what if it was me?

No. It couldn't be. Brooke clearly stated, long ago, she was over me. We were friends and nothing more, right? During all these thoughts, she unlocked her car, I saw her get her keys out. Never once did she look around or back, so she never noticed me. Even if I was parked in front, she didn't notice me until she was already in her car, pulling out of the driveway and almost onto the road. Her eyes widened a bit and her jaw dropped slightly; her jaw clenched, at least that's what I thought I saw. But I could never be sure.

After that, she took off, not giving another look back. Ouch. This just wounded my ego and for some reason, affected me more than it should. She was already gone and I turned the ignition on, going after her. I didn't care she didn't want to talk, she would, I hoped. I couldn't just let this, the kiss, her look; all go without knowing what happened. It took me a bit to figure out, because I was more focused on trying to keep up with her without actually getting so close to the car, that I noticed she was headed to her store. In record time, her car parked and she got out, slamming her car door and walking into her car. No look towards me or anywhere, again.

And following her suit, I parked in front, getting out and shutting my own door. First she kicked me out, then she sped away from me, all in trying to avoid me. This was getting ridiculous. I didn't even know what the hell I did!

Walking in, the door shut behind me and I saw go behind the counter, not bothering a look up. "God damn it, Brooke!"

She looked up then, her expression blank and she raised an eyebrow. Oh, now she plays the poker face card. "What?" she spoke, acting as if she had no idea. Bull.

"You very damn well know what I'm talking about." I wasn't going to play games. We were going to talk, about the kiss at least. And maybe, if I played my cards right, I could get into the mind of Brooke Davis. If only for a few moments.

Brooke sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear. I swear she was bi-polar if I didn't know her. First she was emotional, but she composed herself and was now acting all business-like. "Lucas, I have work to do. I have deadlines..."

"That's bullshit, Brooke and you know it. We both know Victoria took the company a couple weeks ago. You have no deadline." I knew I hit a nerve, because her eyes narrowed and she let out a breath, looking at the computer in front of her, but not doing anything. Maybe it was a bit much. Smooth, Lucas. Just great. Now she won't even probably talk to you. Just go see yourself out before you let your stupid thoughts come out of your mouth. But just before my common sense took over, she spoke.

"I don't want to talk about it, Lucas." she spoke softly. I knew she didn't mean she whole company thing, although, if I wasn't thinking, it would've been my first guess. But I knew that wasn't it. And what it was, I couldn't guess.

"Brooke," my toned was softened as well. I knew this was probably the first step, and I wasn't about to screw this up. "You can talk to me about anything. You know that." While I said this, I took a few steps forward. My position had been in the middle of the store and now, I was a couple feet away from the counter she was standing behind of. Instead of the computer, her face looked down and she bit her lip. Deliberating maybe, she shook her head softly.

"Not about this." She whispered and I don't know why, but again, it affected me more than it should've. "There are just some things better left unspoken of."

Maybe she was right, but I couldn't let it go. "And some things are. Trust me, Brooke." I took a step or two forward. She didn't move or glance up. "Brooke," I spoke her name softly. Still no response. "Come on, Brooke. Look at me." This was getting old. "Brooke, look at me."I repeated, a bit of edge to my tone. She either must've gotten tired of my saying that or she noticed the tone. Either way, she looked up, her face weary for whatever was coming next. "Brooke, talk to me. I know something's wrong. Don't deny it. I can see it in your face, your eyes. It gives it all away."

Brooke did something I didn't expect her to. She scoffed. "Yea, you're such a perfect reader. Bravo, care for a round of applause?" Was she PMS-ing? Jesus, she really must be bipolar.

______

**Brooke's POV:**

These mood changes were actually quite fun. Ok, for those of you playing along, I had to be bitchy, sarcastic, and more importantly not as I was before. Or, five seconds ago really. I couldn't do that. I mean, with the whole tell-me-thing, I was about to crack. He sounded so sincere. And he probably was being just that. But I came to work to _forget _about him, if even for a minute. But he was _here_! In front of me. Talk about a bad day here.

"What the hell, Brooke? Are you ok?" He expression was confused, his eyebrows pulled together. I merely shrugged and nodded, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm perfectly fine. Why?"

He scoffed. "Other than the fact that you're acting like a bipolar bitch?"

I glared at him. OK, I knew i was acting like that, but he didn't need to make his observation out loud. Maybe a bipolar, or 'your mood swings are confusing me', or something.

"Well if it's bothering you so much, maybe you should leave and leave me and my bipolar bitchy self alone, huh?" I smirked a bit. I liked my comebacks so far.

Realization hit his face and he chuckled bitterly, shaking his head to the side once, then looked at me. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

I smirked again and nodded my head slowly, as if I was talking to a small child. "Yea. You finally caught on. You know, for a smart guy you can be pretty dumb." Ohh, burned.

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Just cut the act, Brooke. We both know this is just so I'll get annoyed and leave. It's not happening."

Ugh. Would this man ever give up? "Then what the hell are you doing here, Lucas? I'm not going to talk, we both know this. And you're not going to leave. It's going nowhere, admit it. And it's not going to go anywhere. That's the truth." He needed to go. Couldn't I just wallow in my pain alone? I guess not.

His eyes narrowed at me, those blue eyes pierced into my chocolate brown ones. Concentrate, Brooke. Don't get all emotional just because he's looking at you. "Brooke, talk to me. _Please_." He begged. Wait, he begged? Lucas almost never begged. I guess he really wanted to know. But he couldn't. No. He couldn't. This was something to be kept inside and only me, myself, and I would know about it. No one else. Right? Right.

I shook my head. "I can't, Lucas." I whispered softly. And with that, I turned around, my back facing him, and I faced the wall behind me. My eyes started watering again, there really was no way to stop the tears about to fall, I knew it. They were coming, and the best motion was to just not let him see me and pray he left. Please, God, let him leave before I spill my guts because I know if he stays and begs I will sooner or later. What was it about Lucas Scott? Hm? He always had every girl coming back to him. Me, Peyton, Lindsey, me. Was it his charm? His broody self? his eyes? What was it? I needed to know. That way, I could prepare myself. Well, I guess I should've done that earlier. Over and over I fall for him, and yet, every time he never takes notice. And every time it always catches me off guard. At first, he had been another number on the list of boys I slept with. He changed that. I had Felix, he changed that. I thought I was over him. He changed that as well.

Was there anything that was repellant to that man besides Haley and men?

I figured not.

"Brooke," he started again.

God damn it! He wanted to know the God damn truth? Fine, let him have it. Wait...It was too late. I had already turned around, my eyes were red, glossy and there were tears about to fall with two already down my cheeks. "You want to know? Fine. I'm in love with you, Lucas Scott. That's why I want you to get the hell out of my store. I love you and I can't do anything about it. You're in love with Peyton and always will be. I know that. But why I keep falling for you, don't ask me why. You can't help who you fall in love with, although I sure wish I could. You don't even know how hard it is now just to see you try and get me to open up when all along it's about you. I've noticed men are always much slower at getting things, but I was glad in this case. You didn't know, you thought it was something else. Julian, maybe? Victoria? Sam? No," I paused. The tears were openly flowing now. Rolling down one after another. My voice was quivering and almost impossible to understand from the crying I was doing. "No. It was you all along. Happy? Now you know." I sniffled; the tears kept coming. I revealed my most hidden secret I had only figured out yesterday. And why? All because the broody blonde had been saying 'please.'

My feet had a much better idea than my big mouth did. They headed straight for the door. It wasn't until I was outside that I realized my keys were sitting on the counter back inside the building. My eyesight was blurry but I wasn't going back in there. Besides, it probably would've been dangerous to drive like anyways. I took off running. I needed Haley at the moment. I couldn't tell Peyton, of course. Even if I could, Haley had been there standing on the sidelines and never had to be in there so she knew what it was like from a third person point of view. Plus she always knew what to say. So with this in mind, I ran, leaving Lucas behind. If in the store or outside, I didn't know. I wasn't looking back, because it would only be more painful than it was now.

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**Review! :) Apparently, my being angry made a good chapter. Well, I'd say it was a good one. Leave me reviews to let me know what you think. And don't worry. Lucas is gonna figure out his true feelings soon. This is a Brucas story after all.**

**And so sorry for the long wait.**


	12. A Little Too Not Over You

Sooo, so, _SOOOOOOO_ sorry I haven't updated. I feel really bad. See, last tuesday was a field trip, thursday was a field trip, the year's come to a close. I've exempted all my exams so I'll have more time now that I've finished my freshmen year of high school. WHOO! Ha. I'm officially a sophomore now. Go Vannesa, haha. Anyways, my party's coming up so that might put me back a bit, but after the July 11th or 12th, it'll all be over and I'll have a bunch more time to update. Hopefully. So, here's some Brucas. :)

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_**Last Time:**__ I ran, leaving Lucas behind. If in the store or outside, I didn't know. I wasn't looking back, because it would only be more painful than it was now._

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**A Little Too Not Over You**

**Lucas' POV:**

Her words...they took forever to sink into. She was crying, but I was too stunned to make a move towards her. But she would've moved, I know she would've. She kept going, spilling her heart out to me; someone who hadn't a clue as to why she had been this way when she answer was right there, in plain sight in front of me. She-I couldn't wrap my head around it but,- she was in love with me. She didn't just love me, she was _in _love with me. A little warning in my head went off named Peyton. I couldn't leave her...well, we were broken up. I mean, God why do things have to be confusing? She left me, meaning it was broken off. I talked to her and realized it wasn't me she had been in love with all along, even if she kept saying I was 'The One', that she was 'The Comet'; I knew she wasn't now. Would Brooke normally have said anything? I didn't need to think about it. The answer was probably not. She loved me and Peyton far too much to risk ruining our relationship. She was selfless, she always had been. Put others in front of her, that's how Brooke Davis was.

These things I'm saying, sounds like I'm in love with her too. No. ...Am I? I couldn't be. I mean...was I still in love with Peyton? Maybe. That was a mess. Brooke? I didn't even know. I loved her, yes. As a friend. A really good friend and girlfriend. Girlfriend? Wait, mental smack, Lucas. Ex. _EX-_girlfriend. I never meant girlfriend to come out. Jesus, what was with me? I didn't love Peyton, I didn't think I loved Brooke..did I love anyone at the moment? Not even a clue. It's pretty sad when you don't even know your own feelings. It's a little thing in your mind telling you you're pretty fucked up. At least, that's what I felt at the moment. A fuck up.

But why? It wasn't like I liked her that way. Right? Right. See, confusing yourself is something else that means you're just a screwed up person. I pretty much was guessing now that I was screwed up from the beginning now. Keith dropped me on the head, maybe? Mom fed me some type of formula? Now my mind was wandering to something I could debate later.

Brooke was the one person, they only thing I needed to focus on now.

I hadn't noticed she had ran out though, I swear I didn't until I tried to get my words in order, although, they were only 'what?' I blinked and I took in the sight of just the store in front of me. No Brooke. Making a turn on my right heel, I turned, she wasn't there. My feet jogged to the door and I pushed it open, going outside and standing there, my head turning left and right. To my right, she was running; running away from me. I knew she was. Everyone probably did, that is, if they had just seen the scene that had taken place not even two minutes ago.

"Brooke!" I called her name; she didn't turn back, nor slow down. I started running after her.

I hadn't even noticed the dark clouds above me until a lightning flash was seen, followed by a rumble of thunder in the distance. A storm. Water would fall from the sky. I vaguely remembered my mom telling me as a kid sometimes, that when it rained, it was angels crying. Crying for people. It made me think, were they crying for Brooke? Could they be? There was probably a possibility. She had just admitted she loved me, and I stood there, like the idiot I am. I stood there;blank. I hadn't said anything and I couldn't imagine being in her position...wait, I could actually. Long time ago. She had left when I told her, but I didn't run after her. Had that been my mistake? If I had gone after her, would it have changed things? She still had to leave, so, it probably might not have, but it could've been worth a try. A chance that I never took.

"Brooke!" I yelled her name again. I wouldn't have turn around if I was her, and, it looked like she had the same idea. Again; she didn't turn. She kept running, but she looked like she was slowing. Was she?

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**Brooke's POV:**

The rain. Kind of like how I was feeling now. Dark, grey, droplets forming and falling. The tears weren't gonna stop. I knew it.

"Brooke!"

His voice called out to me for the second time. I wasn't gonna go and turn around. But I could feel myself slowing, but I ran faster. One turn and I saw that he had fallen behind. I turned into a small alley. The uncontrollable sobbing was becoming almost too much to bear. My vision was blurred. It had been my tears at first and now it was the rain making it worse. I couldn't see much, just figures that were blurry. I remembered the time he gave me his rain speech. That was implanted in my head forever. He told me he loved me. He had said he could've stayed out in the rain the whole night, just keeping saying reasons that he loved me.

Just thinking of this brought more tears to my eyes and I sobbed, slowing down to a walk, bumping against a wall and stopping. I cried. Why did I have to tell him? Why couldn't I have just kept it a secret. He was gonna catch up to me soon, and it looked like I couldn't make it to Haley's now. Maybe later, but right now? No. I moved from my side to my back against the wall and lowered my head, still crying. Sliding slowly down, I found that in a few seconds I was sitting on the cold ground. But weather it was cold or wet didn't matter to me. I couldn't move. I wasn't there. My arms moved to my knees, resting against them, then my forehead rested against my arms. I couldn't do this. I was stupid. Why was he running after me? It was only going to make things worse, I knew this. He was going to say something; no matter what he would say though, it wouldn't change anything. I would tell him this. He would know I'm right and I'd probably take off again, my mind set on crying as soon as I got to Haley. God, how I wished she was here now. She'd probably just let me cry and once I'd calm down, tell me everything would be ok. Maybe it wouldn't, maybe it would, but it'd be sure nice to hear it from her. That always put my mind at ease, if only for a few moments.

------

My sobs slowed and quieted down a bit; I was starting to stop crying. Being alone helped, even if it had only been five minutes. Had I lost him? I hoped I had. I didn't feel like dealing with him.

Apparently, luck wasn't with me. The sound of a person jogging in the rain caught my ears and my breath quickened. It had already slowed down some from running and sobbing, but here it came again. My heart was pounding, I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my blood; was it him? I couldn't imagine it being someone else. No one in their right mind would be running in the rain. Well, maybe, but in my time crying, the rain had picked up and it was pouring now. It just kept coming down and down and I didn't think It was stopping soon.

Slowly, very slowly as to now make any noise, I lifted my head; not that it could make any noise. My back pressed against the wall; my breath was coming in and out in a slightly faster pace than normal.

"Brooke?"

Damn, it was him. I knew it. Why couldn't I have been right? Just this once, why couldn't I be? My bottom lip trembled, could he find me here?

His pace slowed, I could hear it. "Brooke?" He called, not as loud this time. He stopped, right at the entrance to the alley I was hiding in. He was soaked, but I was too probably. He was panting, probably from running. His hand ran through his hair as he turned to each side, trying to look for me. Even if the rain was pouring and it made things blurry, I could see him. The movements he was making. He looked like he was going to give up. I was a couple feet in the alley, maybe halfway, so he was a good distance away.

Then, he saw me.

He had turned to look this way and I could tell that once his eyes rested on my figure, he knew it was me. He just had that look in his eye, plus, my face was lifted towards him. "Brooke," he had started towards me. I moved my arms, placing my palms against the wall behind me to help me get up and run away if this turned bad.

But the question I had was would it?

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**Lucas' POV:**

There she was. She had taken off after I called her name that I didn't think I could catch up to her. But I had. She was just sitting there. Her eyes were red, puffy from crying. I hated her like this, I know I have said this before, but I couldn't tell myself that enough. It was like I had to tell myself, like I was gonna forget how much I cared for the brunette in front of me. Of course, that's not something someone would forget, but I liked to hear myself say I cared for her. And I hated seeing her crying. Especially if I was the reason for it.

This was one of the moments that I hated myself. I really did. I caused Brooke's pretty face to have tears. Wait, what am I saying? I just said 'Brooke's pretty face.' Not like she didn't have it, but as soon as I thought of that, I thought of Prettygirl. My nickname for her. I would've smiled had, one, she not been there. And two, the reason we were both standing, well, I was standing, she was sitting here.

Well, how _stupid _could I be?

I'm in love with Brooke. That explains everything. Why I hate myself so much more that it's Brooke than if it would've been Peyton. Why I had just thought of Prettygirl. Why I had been beating myself so much after that kiss. Why I had felt it so right and wanted to kiss her again. I had been slowly making my way to her, and now, I was a couple feet away from her and stopped. I am in love with Brooke.

"Brooke, can we talk?" I whispered. I needed to tell her. I had to let it out. But first, I had to make sure she wasn't going to run away. My face had a different expression when I realized my feelings, but I composed it quickly; I don't think she noticed. She looked like she was about to bolt, but she slowly stood up.

Her hair was sticking to her neck, her whole self was soaked from the rain that had come down and was still pouring down. I wasn't paying attention to the rain though. My mind and my eyes only had focus for Brooke. "There's nothing to talk about. Can't you just let me wallow in my mistake alone?"

Her words were whispered, i could hear them over the rain though. Even if they were low, they hit me as if she had yelled them. Shouted them in my face in rage. But her voice was upset, her eyes didn't have their spark and her words were low as if she was tired of fighting. She had said telling me was a mistake. In my mind, it was probably one of the best things she had done. It made me realize not only she loved me, but I loved her. Even if it did take me forever to see it and I was being a stupid idiot. In any words, what she told me was _not _a mistake.

"How can you say that?" my voice was soft.

Her eyebrows pulled together, and I could tell I had confused the crap out of her. She fidgeted around slightly, moving her weight from her right foot to her left and back. "What are you talking about?" Her voice raised a bit, it wasn't so low this time.

I couldn't believe what I was gonna say. This was too much for one day. Were my feelings certain? I shouldn't have opened my big mouth. What if I just threw ideas out there and I just went with the first one? What if I wasn't exactly in love with Brooke? My heart ached as soon as I thought that and I knew it wasn't true. It couldn't be true now. I really was in love with Brooke, there was no denying it. She had told me, it was just as fair that I told her. But what if she didn't take it well. I was 95% sure that she was going to bring Peyton up, but I could care less about the blonde at the moment. Only the brunette in front of me, no matter how puffy and red eyed, or how soaked she was, held my attention. Just as she always had.

"I love you, Brooke Davis. I know, it sounds weird, probably. And crazy, even, maybe. But it's true. I've been blind this whole time, thinking I was in love with Peyton. But I wasn't. It's you. It's been you. Don't pay attention to anything I might've said about Peyton or told her that I loved her...It's you, Brooke. You're Cheery and I'm Broody. We're meant to be, I can see that now. Believe me or not, I think this is it. You and me."

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**Brooke's POV:**

"...You're Cheery and I'm Broody. We're meant to be, I can see that now. Believe me or not, I think this is it. You and me."

My jaw was open; I kept blinking because the water kept falling onto my eyelashes and then almost in my eyes. Was my mind playing tricks on me? Was I hearing things? No, I couldn't be. This sure felt like a dream, a weird dream. But...this was real. Lucas was really telling me that he loved me. God was probably doing something weird tonight. A few minutes ago I had just told him I loved him. Did he just realize this? Had he been known this? My mind was racing to find the answer, I couldn't believe my ears. I really just couldn't.

As soon as he finished his speech, I couldn't think of what to say. I stared at him for what seemed like forever, and it was only a minute, probably. No words came out, so I did the only thing I could think of.

My legs took their own accord and crossed the rest of the space that was between us. My hands went up and grabbed his face, pulling it to mine and I let my lips crash against his. He automatically responded and I couldn't have felt any better than I was now. His hands instantly went and enclosed themselves around my waist, as if the move had been practiced. This felt so right. It was like a part of my life had been missing and it was finally found now. Like I had been in the dark this whole time without knowing and he was the sun in my life.

Our lips moved perfectly together, like a dance or a play that had been rehearsed plenty times and now was finally the time for the big premiere, the big show. My hands moved so my arms could wrap themselves around his neck and I pulled him closed. My breathing started becoming heavy and I could feel that his was too. I slid my tongue lightly against his bottom lip and a soft, light moan came from the back of his throat. Unfortunately, a couple seconds after that, the need for air was too great and I pulled away, only my lips though. I rested my forehead against his and opened my eyes, finding his staring right back at me. The moment was perfect. No words were needed. I had been right. He was all I had thought he was. My other half.

I felt my cheeks start to heat up and he noticed because he chuckled lightly. I blushed more, a smile forming on my lips and a giggle was heard from myself.

"I love you, Brooke Davis." His words only made me smile wider, much wider and I pressed my lips to his lightly, pulling away before we couldn't breathe again.

"And I love you, Lucas Scott. I always have." I whispered, but he was so close he could hear me over the rain. Everything was perfect, like I had said before. But it was ruined because my phone vibrated in my pocket. Lucas was thinking the same thing, I'm guessing because once my head looked down and my arm pulled away from his neck to get the phone, he groaned a bit, knowing it was my phone that distracted me. I only smiled, shaking my head a bit as I pulled the device out of my pocket. The caller ID made me frown though.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing my face.

I looked up at him, my face in a nervous and slightly worried way. "It's Peyton."

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**It's done! There it is! I feel soo happy with this one, haha. I'm in a good mood since I got my RPG up to enough friends on myspace. It's very good haha. But you know the deal, review! Make me feel happy about this chapter as well! :)**


	13. I'll Keep You My Secret

I feel really good about this story. :) and my latest on, Don't Ever Leave. I didn't think it'd get as many hits or reviews as it has, but it did and that made Vannesa happy! Lmfao. My party's less than a month away so it's been hectic around here. Getting the dress, I've got the place but we need decorations. We need the invitations sent out and make sure that everyone has directions to get there. Ugh, so much to do! xD But I still got time to update as you can see!

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_**Last Time:**__ "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing my face. I looked up at him, my face in a nervous and slightly worried way. "It's Peyton."_

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**I'll Keep You My Secret**

**Brooke's POV:**

Peyton. Why? Why now? I love you and all, but why now? Can't you leave me and Lucas alone for once?

"Are you going to answer it?" Lucas asked me.

Did I have a choice? She'd probably keep calling and I had a pretty good feeling who she was calling for and it wasn't me. I nodded my head and pressed my finger to my lips. "Stay quiet." I said softly, before answering the call and bringing the phone up to my ear. "Hello?"

_"Brooke?" _Well this _was_ my phone. Who else would it be? The blonde next to me reminded me it could've been him answering the phone. He could've taken it and answered; thank God he didn't. I nodded my head, only out of habit.

"Yea. Peyton, is everything ok?" I asked her, because I knew she wasn't just calling for a call. She was calling for something. I could practically see her shaking her head and sighing silently on the other side.

"No. You haven't seen Lucas anywhere by any chance, have you?" Instinctively, I looked towards the blonde she asked about; his gaze was intently focused on me and suddenly, I forgot what I had been thinking for a second. God, why did his blue eyes have to make me go weak in the knees. Should I tell her? Every bone in my body was screaming _'NO! Don't tell her!' _But she was my best friend, at the same time, though, she was in love with the man I was in love with who had just told me he was in love with me as well. Damn love triangle that kept coming back. I couldn't tell her. I realized this. No. And no one could know, not just yet. I know Haley and Nathan wouldn't tell Peyton, but taking it all in at one time, well, I just needed for us to take it slow. At least for now. "No, I haven't seen Lucas. Why?" The lie went from my lips as easily as if they had been real.

Peyton audibly sighed on the other side of the phone. _"I need to talk to him. I have to explain why what happened happened. He just rushed out of here and I haven't seen him in two days since I'm still cooped up here, Brooke."_

You cheated on him. Why would he wanna hear? I know how it feels, Peyton. "Well, I haven't seen him. Which reminds me, when are you going to get discharged?" Lucas looked relieved both the first and second time that I told my blonde friend I hadn't seen my love. Now, He looked up at the sky, the rain still falling and looked back at me, motioning to go under the small roof of a nearby store across the street. I nodded my head and he took my hand silently, leading me and we were there in no time, standing under the shelter provided.

_"I don't know. The doctor told me; I forgot. I think he said in a few days or so." _I only had a few days to think of something. Great. But I nodded slowly.

"Well, that's great, Peyton." I lied. Sure, it was nice to have her out, but would she still think of me as her best friend when I'm going out and in love with her ex? The ex she's still in love with?

_"I guess so." _She said and I knew she was still upset about Lucas.

"It is." I couldn't tell her that she was getting back with the blonde male, because he was with me now. Some friend I am. "Listen, I gotta go. I'm, um, I'm in the rain and, um, I need concentration to drive." Again, I lied to her. I wasn't driving but I did need concentration. Concentration to think about what to do.

_"Alright. I guess I'll call you later or something. And Brooke?"_

"Yea?"

_"Thanks for being a good friend. Ya know, putting up with me being like this and helping me out with Lucas and everything." _Fuck.

I didn't respond immediately. How could I? How could after she just said that? I had to take a moment and take a silent, deep breath and closed my eyes. "No problem." I told her while they stayed close. Damn her.

_"I'll call you later. Bye."_

"Bye." And I shut my phone.

------

"I don't know if I can do this, Lucas." I whispered. We were sitting in his car now. After the call, I explained everything to him and he held me in his arms for a good ten minutes, the only noise being the rain falling around us and on the small roof above us. Finally, I knew we had to talk about it, but it'd be better in a warm car and we headed back, mostly running back, and got in the closest car. His car. The heater was running and my hair was at least damp now, instead of soaked wet. For the last fifteen minutes, I had been staring outside the windshield. Thinking. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell Peyton and that was killing me. I couldn't tell Haley yet because I knew she'd probably make a big deal or it'd be just as hard for her to keep it a secret from our friend as it would be for me. Maybe harder, seeing as she was a third party. I didn't think Lucas would be able to tell Nathan either. I mean, sure, Nathan wasn't around as often, but it could slip or he would just be uncomfortable with the awkwardness as it would be for any of us.

We couldn't tell anyone just yet. It had only been a week and a couple days since Lucas and Peyton, well, Peyton broke off the wedding and terminated their relationship. God, did I feel like a slut right now.

"Can't do what?" He asked softly, not whispering like I had done.

I sighed and looked up towards the car ceiling for a second before turning my sad gaze on him. "This. Us. Lying to Peyton. It's killing me, Luke." I whispered again, sure that my torn expression showed with no holding back on my face and eyes.

My sadness caught up to him and his own face fell; his eyes saddened. "Then let's tell her." What was he? Crazy?

"You know very well we can't do that. Not yet at least."

"And why the hell not?"

I swear. Were all men this stupid sometimes? "Because you two _just _terminated your relationship. She's still hurting, Luke. I can't do that to her. I already feel horrible just by lying to her and then not telling her. Not to mention the total whore I feel like since we're getting together only a week after you two are done."

His expression softened and he took my hand, holding it over his chest. God, he was just too sweet sometimes. "No one can help what I feel for you, Brooke. And no one can help what you feel for me. Like you told me before, People who are meant to be together, always find their way in the end. It took us a couple years, but we've found each other now. Found in the way that we've figured out what we've never seen all along. You and I are meant to be. And that does not make you a whore."

I gave him a small smile, despite my problems and leaned in, kissing him softly.

______

**Lucas' POV:**

I smiled a bit against Brooke's lips, kissing her back gently. She was easily worried over these things. I don't blame her though. I do feel somewhat bad about the whole Peyton thing, but it's like I told her. I can't help what we feel for each other. I mean, Peyton had her chance, but I figured that deep down, I knew it wasn't gonna last long with her. It never does.

Brooke pulled away slowly and I rested my forehead against hers, taking her hand. "Brooke, I love you. Nothing, or no one for that matter, can change that." I whispered to her softly. I had to say, this was the best day of my life. Hands down. Nothing could ruin this. Not even the call from Peyton. No, I figured it just brought us even closer in this small moment.

Brooke smiled, dimples and all. I can't get enough of that smile. It just lightened up everything. If it was raining and dark, like it was now, her smile just lightened everything up. Ok, I'm probably sounding like a sap now, I know. But it's all true. Like Romeo compared Juliet to the sun, well, I'm betting she had nothing on Brooke. I'm telling you, I haven't felt this way in a long time. All because of her. It wouldn't be surprising now to say she was the reason I was so happy back in senior year, and it's true. All that I'm saying now. But I'm guessing i should stop before I become a complete mush fest.

"I love you too, Lucas." She whispered back to me and I only smiled more. I'm telling you, tonight was a great night.

------

"Come on. We need to start heading for some house or something. We're gonna get sick." I commented and started the car, turning the heat on once it was running. "You want me to drop you off at your place?" I said and turned to face her.

There was a pout on her face. "What?"

"Why can't you spend the night? or I come over?"

I smiled and chuckled softly. "What about Sam, Brooke?"

Brooke smiled a bit and shrugged. "Sam's a big girl. She can handle one night by herself. Please, Luke?" She gave me that look that I've never been able to resist.

"Fine. Your place or mine?"

She gave me her famous smile and shrugged, leaning back against the seat. "It doesn't matter. Either place is fine."

I debated for a moment. Either home we went to, if we got too carried away, something could happen between us. Not that I minded, but I doubt Sam would've wanted to wake up to me in the kitchen in boxers or to some...noises in the middle of the night. I guessed my place would be the safest. No one would walk in the middle of the night, it was just me living there. "Mine it is." I said, putting the shift in drive and started off.

It was quiet for a few moments. Only the sound of the rain on the roof of the car and the sloshing of the rain when the car hit it, as well as the wind blowing from the heater was heard. But it wasn't an awkward silence. No. This one was nice. There didn't need to be words all the time. Sometimes silence was a good thing. I reached over, taking her hand in mine and she interlocked our hands together. This was the way we stayed like this for the rest of the ride.

It wasn't until we were a few minutes away, I noticed Brooke's posture and her mood changed. I felt it. Her leg was bouncing up and down, and she was biting her lip, the way she did when she was nervous about something.

"You ok?"

She turned to look at me, still biting her lip and sighed softly, shrugging before her leg stopped shaking. "I guess."

"Talk to me."

But Brooke shook her head. "At the house."

She said simply, and I knew that was the end of it for now. I simply sighed internally and nodded my head, facing ahead. Before I knew it, we had arrived. It was still pouring, so I shut the car off, and Brooke got out quickly, running to the door. I followed suit, taking my keys out and putting them in the key hole, opening the door and let her inside first.

I shuddered after I got inside, shutting the door behind me. At least it was dry inside. We were soaked, from just now and from the long time we had stood in the rain. I turned the heater up, running a hand through my hair. Small flashbacks of that big rain storm senior year kept coming to mind. I chuckled to myself, shaking my head and turned around, noticing Brooke standing there.

"I don't wanna get your couch wet." She said simply. "And I want a warm shower."

I chuckled softly.

_______

**Brooke's POV:**

I couldn't help but smile slightly, hearing him chuckle, although it confused me some. "What?"

He smiled, shaking his head and walked to the hall closet, opening it and grabbing a towel. "Nothing." He answered simply, tossing the towel towards me. I smiled, raising an eyebrow and shrugged, catching it in both hands. A warm shower would do me some good.

"I'll only take a few." I assured him, and he nodded.

Heading for the bathroom, I made my way in, shutting and locking the door behind me. Why lock it? It was a habit. Something I did no matter where I was. I stripped down, turning the warm water on and stepped into it. It felt nice, the water, it did. As soon as it hit my skin, I instantly felt warm. But it was then, after my brain cleared of being cold and wet, was it that I got to thinking. And so much thinking in one day for myself wasn't a good thing.

Because I got to thinking about Peyton. About Lucas. About myself. We couldn't tell anyone. I had already told myself this, but I had to keep repeating. It was even hard to think this. I wanted to tell, no, to scream out to the world I was with him. That I was in love with him. But I couldn't. I was being held back. Stupid love triangle. I really hated it. So what to do now? Only one option came to my mind; we'd have to keep our relationship a secret. At minor for a couple weeks.

This was really going to suck. First, I wasn't allowed to show off my boyfriend and I'd have to sit back and watch if any girl came up and started flirting with him... and I couldn't do anything about. The thought made me frown and sick to my stomach. Of course, I knew he wasn't gonna allow those girls a chance, but still. Just watching them. I sighed. Maybe this sneaking around thing wasn't such a good idea. But we--I--couldn't let Peyton get even more emotionally, and probably physically, hurt than she already was. So yes, I still cared even if I was the one stealing her guy this time. But he wasn't hers anymore, but I couldn't shake the guilt.

Now to tell, Lucas.

I shut the water off, grabbing the towel sitting outside the curtain and wrapped it around my body. He wouldn't agree. I knew it. He'd at least give me a few good reasons to not to not tell them. But I couldn't let him get to me. I just couldn't. No. I had to be strong. Walking into his room brought back memories I didn't get to savor for as long as I would've liked to. I knew he wouldn't mind me borrowing his clothes so I took a pair of his pajama pants, though they were too big, and one of his shirts, also big. Brushing my hair, I took my time. I need it. Time. to think about what i was gonna say. Because I didn't exactly know what to say.

He came in then, a few minutes after I had gotten out and I was still brushing my hair. "Hey." He said, a small grin on his face.

I turned and I smiled a bit, trying to make it look ok. "hey." I said simply, still brushing my hair to keep my hands from fidgeting.

He noticed how I was quiet, I guess I was being. Because he tilted his head. "You ok?" This was it. the time to act. Could I do it? No. Did I have to do it? Yes.

I sighed and glanced down, the brush slowing down in my hands. I shook my head; my wet hair moving slightly. Placing the brush back, my petite hands rested on my lap afterwards and I looked at him. "We need to talk." He looked cautious as he nodded; that was a sign to go on. "We can't do this." I whispered. His mouth opened to say something and I raised a hand, palm up, to him. "Let me finish. I'm not saying to not be together. I'm just saying we need time before we tell the others. They might not take it as well as we think they might. Nothing's ever what it seems. I want to tell them, Luke. I really do. But we just can't now." i let out a soft breath.

He looked at me in confusion. "You mean, have our relationship a secret?"

I nodded.

He debated for a moment.

______

**Lucas' POV:**

Was she for real? I couldn't believe this. Then again, it was Brooke. I didn't blame her. And I didn't want to fight either. For now, I guess it was the best to do. If it wasn't, well, I was only doing this for her. I nodded slowly after a few minutes of debation. I can't believe I was giving in so easy.

"Ok." I said simply.

Surprise flittered across her face. Yea, join the club. "Really?"

I nodded my head, a small grin reappearing. "Really."

She smiled and came over, kissing me softly. Mm, I could never get enough of that. "Good." she whispered against my lips and I chuckled lightly, nodding again.

She got up then and I felt my shoulders fall a bit. She laughed, seeing my reaction. "I'll be back. I just need to go to the bathroom." I chuckled and nodded my head watching her disappear and leaned back against the pillows. Her phone rang, I looked over. Should I answer it? Nah. But the ringing was getting annoying, she didn't say anything from the bathroom. I acted before I thought about it and I reached over, picking the vibrating phone off the dresser and pushing the 'Answer' button.

"Hello?" I answered after putting it up to my ear.

_"Lucas?" _Haley? Awe shit. Maybe answering the phone was a bad idea.

______

**Weee! Another one done! :) My party's saturday and I'm stoked about it. If the ending is kinda bad and/or rushed, I'm sorry. It's midnight and unlike most nights, I'm beat. But I just wanted it up. :) So R&R!**


	14. Breathless

Ok, so at the moment I'm doing a thing where I'm staying up for 24 hours. Out of boredom and the fact that my mom isn't here the weekend. Plus, my dad's picking me up on Monday because we're gonna spend a week or so over with him. so internet during that time period D: But yea. So I'ma try to get this chapter up. And I'ma try to make this a Brucas fluff one, :D

______

_**Last Time:**__"Lucas?" _Haley? Awe shit. Maybe answering the phone was a bad idea.

______

**Breathless**

**Lucas' POV:**

Remind me to never ever again pick up Brooke's phone. I mean, why was I an idiot to not check the caller ID? I know, because I'm Lucas Scott. An idiot. What did I say now? My brain wasn't working to its full potential at the moment. I couldn't think of anything. God. Think, Lucas. Think, damn it!

"Um, Hi, Haley." Yea, that's real smart.

_"Lucas? What are you doing answering Brooke's phone?" _Good question. Now, let's see how I'd answer that. Oh yea, I'd be stupid and spill the beans. Come on, Luke. Work up something to tell her. Even if she my best friend.

"Um, I came over. Earlier. Yea. I came over cause it was raining and all. We were...at the Rivercourt. We had been talking. It started to rain and then we just came back here, to my place. She went to the bathroom and I picked up the phone. I guess I should check her caller ID or just not answer the next time, huh?" It was a lame excuse, I'll admit. I didn't even believe it myself, but what else did I have? Nothing. Nothing at all. Brooke had walked in during my answer and heard the last part. She stopped in the doorway and recovered quickly, making her way over and holding her hand out for her phone. I lifted a finger, wanting to hear what Haley would say but Brooke shook her head, putting her hand out again. I sighed silently and handed her the phone. It was hers anyways.

She checked the caller ID and gave me an exasperated look. One that said 'really? Why her?' I shrugged and sat up from the position I had been in. "I didn't know it was her." I whispered. She raised an eyebrow. "I didn't. I didn't check." She rolled her eyes and put the phone to her ear and pressed a finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet. At least that wasn't something I could screw up.

"Haley?" Haley's voice wasn't so loud that she could be heard from where I was. So i kept my mouth shut, sitting up and leaning back against her headboard. I watched Brooke for a couple minutes while she was on the phone.

"Well it was raining, Haley. Do you really think I wanted to stay out in the rain? Yea, I thought not. His place was closer so that's where we came." She lied so smoothly I almost believed her myself. Only I knew the truth. We were together. Together, _together_. The thought brought a wide smile to my face; Brooke didn't notice since she sat with her back towards me.

It was somewhat hard to believe though. After all this time, I can't believe it was as simple as this. It was like a book. Ones I usually never read, the romance ones, but a book nonetheless. The ones where she would have been there all along and I would've been the best friend/ex boyfriend who had taken his sweet time to realize she was the one. A damn long time, but at least I got it, didn't I? I wasn't going to mess this up again. No. She meant too much to me, and we weren't in high school, we couldn't just make up and break up like we had before. Now we were adults, grown up people. But we were still Brooke and Lucas. Even to this moment, I was still thinking what an idiot I was for not seeing her right there. How could I not? How could I have ever thought Lindsey or Peyton or anyone else for that matter ever compared to Brooke? I probably did consciously, and sub-consciously I didn't. Because I don't know how anyone is better, or more beautiful, or more amazing that the girl right in front of me.

"...eat whatever you have here. Sound good?"

"Huh?"

I hadn't noticed Brooke had hung up. She was now sitting indian style on the bed in front of me, her hair was still damp I noticed. The phone was beside her and she was giving me a look. "You weren't listening to a word I said, were you?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Not really. If it helps, I was admiring your beauty and that's why I couldn't answer. I know it sounds cheesy and all, and you can believe it or not. But I swear to you it's the truth." Her lips curved upward into a small smile and I could see the blush in her cheeks.

"Well, I guess I'll believe you. Now, what I said was, why don't you go shower and I can go order food or I can wait and we can eat whatever you have hear. Mk?"

I smiled and nodded, sitting up. "Alright, surprise me then," I grinned. "I'll be back soon, alright, babe?" I said, kissing her forehead and got up off the bed, seeing her nod once, what looked like a content smile on her face is what I saw before I walked into the bathroom.

______

**Brooke's POV:**

After Lucas disappeared, my face broke out into a wide grin and I grabbed the pillow, placed it over my face and let a girlish squeal into it; I hoped he couldn't hear that. How could one guy make a woman so happy? Well I know, because he loves her the way she loves him. I took my face away from the pillow and bit the inside of my bottom lip, my face still in a grin that seemed would never fade. When he had kissed my forehead in the small moment a few seconds ago, my heart went into overtime and I was surprised he didn't hear it. And that was only my forehead. My heart was still recovering from the big kiss in the rain we had. Falling onto my back on the bed, I stared at the ceiling, faintly remembering a high school memory when we got back together after the Chris incident.

------

_The phone rang, causing Lucas to break the bond our lips had. I was slightly disappointed, but I only grinned and watched him. He was my Knight in Shining Armor. He had forgiven me for something that no other guy would have ever forgiven me for. How he could do that, beats me. All I knew was that I was the luckiest girl in the world. He was mine and only mine. I loved him and I was 100% sure that he loved me back. He had told me and I had told him; never before have I told another guy that I was in love with them. Never did I think i wanted to love someone. And it all changed with him. Lucas Scott._

_"That was Peyton." He said, closing the phone. My face changed into a confused expression._

_"Peyton? As in my best friend, your ex girlfriend, Peyton?" My eyebrows were knotted together._

_He only smiled and pulled himself on top of me, explaining to me that we had to trust each other. I knew he was right. This was Peyton, she knew I was in love with Lucas. She wouldn't do anything to try and take him away. ...Would she? I pushed that to the back of my mind and explained to him about my designs, that we were going really well actually. He was proud of me, I could see it and he told me. He pressed his lips to mine and pulled back before we got into a make-out session again._

_"See ya in a bit." he told me, getting off me and off the bed, going to the door._

_"Ok. See you later, Boyfriend."_

_He stopped, his hand on the doorway and he turned his head to look at me. I let out a soft giggle, looking back at him. "What?"_

_"Nothing. It just feels good to hear you call me boyfriend."_

_I grinned. "Feels good to say it."_

------

The shower shut off and I was brought back to reality. He really was my Knight in Shining Armor. But I'd keep that to myself for the moment. Lucas walked back into the room a few minutes after I heard the shower cut off, his chest bare and his bottom parts covered in baggy sweat pants. He was just pulling his shirt over his head when I heard him talk, "Did you decide on our food?" He asked and I sat up, sitting indian style once again.

"I figured we'd try and get something to eat here. No use in trying to call a place to deliver because I doubt in this weather anyone would be willing to deliver anything. Not unless they're like super freaks obsessed with their job because that's all they have. But that's beside the point." I told him.

He merely smiled and chuckled softly, taking his towel and rubbing it against his hair to try and dry it. Although I knew it was going to stay damp for a while unless he used a hair dryer. "Well even I don't understand how that came up, I agree with the whole delivery thing. But do you really think we'll have power with this storm?"

I shrugged. "We could. If not, we can always have cereal. Or, ohh, if you have milk and Oreos we could have those." I grinned and he chuckled again, throwing the towel in his hamper and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I think I might."

I grinned and crawled over, resting on my knees beside him. "Yay." I said softly before capturing his lips with mine. God it felt so good to kiss him. There truly was no over feeling like this. "Well, come on." I said, having pulled again. He smiled and took my hand, bringing me to my feet on the floor as he stood up at the same time.

He intertwined our hands and fingers together, walking us to the kitchen. We walked into the kitchen and he turned to look at me; the smile hadn't left his lips. "Oreos and milk, am I right?"

I grinned and nodded my head once. "I'll get the milk, you get the Oreos." I said and tapped his nose gently with my index finger before letting go of his hand and making my way over to the fridge. I heard his steps shuffling from where he was moving. A blast of cold air hit me when I opened the door, but it didn't faze me much. I spotted the milk instantly and I pulled the small half gallon container out, setting it on the table and going to the cupboard where he kept the cups. Returning with them, I saw he had already gotten my cookies. His hand reached out and took one of the cups, pouring some milk and I handed him the other one, watching him and taking a seat as he poured milk in that cup too.

"Dinner is served." He said in a tone that I supposed was supposed to be like a waiter and I couldn't help but laugh softly.

"Best dinner ever." I grinned, taking some Oreos out of their place and dunking them in my milk before I ate them. After a few minutes, I felt Lucas' eyes on me and I slowly lifted mine up. "What? Do I got something on my face?" I asked, my hand flying up automatically to my face.

He smiled and chuckled again, nodding. "Yea, actually you do." I waited. He didn't say what.

"Well, what is it?"

A slow grin spread across his face. "The most beautiful face in the whole universe."

The blood rose to my cheeks, letting him know I was blushing and I smiled a shy smile, glancing down and back up at my blonde boyfriend. "You're cheesy, you know that?"

A shrug from his shoulders was all I got. His hand reached over and he tucked a stray strand of hair from my face and wound it back behind my ear where the rest of my hair was. My blush turned a shade of pink over the red that had been starting to fade. "Well, did you like it? The compliment, I mean."

"Of course I did." I grinned at him.

He smiled back and pulled his hand away from my face but only reached for my hand, taking it in his. "Then I'm glad I'm cheesy."

I giggled and sat up a bit, leaning over and placed my lips on his again, enjoying the feeling of kissing him. I felt him smile against my lips before kissing me back. I knew I wouldn't be able to hover over the table for long so I pulled back gently. A nice, sweet, soft kiss. Those were the best. I couldn't get enough of him. It was the truth.

"Well I wouldn't have you any other way." I told him once I had sat back down. I dunked an Oreo into the milk and before i bit into it, I looked up at him. "I love you, Lucas Scott." I told him confidently, my voice soft. Those were five words I could keep on repeating and saying over and over again without stopping. No, i couldn't. No matter where we would be, I could tell him I loved him all day long and I could kiss him all day. Yea, that'd be the perfect life. But this was close enough.

He smiled widely and took my hand that he hadn't let go of yet, brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. "I love you too, Brooke Davis." He said and I grinned widely, as wide as I ever have even if I already knew he loved me and then I continued eating my cookies, enjoying him there. Enjoying the fact that we were together, and above all, enjoying that he loved me. I finally had my Prince Charming back and no one could take him away from me again.

______

_Voila! __:D How'd ya like it? I think I started working on this around 3:45 AM or something and at the moment there's only four minutes until it's 6 AM and I see the sun rising. :O Well, at least I could stay up all night, muahaha. Just tell me how it was, please. :) Breathless by Shayne Ward was my inspiration for this chapter. I kept repeating it while I was writing it. Hehe. So, review? :DD_


	15. Author's Note 2

**A/N:** -taps on the mic; Test. One, two, three. -cricket; Uhh, I don't know if you all remember me - er, this story, really - but yes. I'm back. I do not have enough words to say how truly and deeply sorry I am for not continuing this story. I guess everything caught up to me. A whole year's gone by. D; My sophomore year was really fun and now it's the start of my Junior. That's how long it's been. I was going to originally post a note saying that I wasn't going to update this story. Then I got to re-reading it and I remembered how much I absolutely _adored_ this story. How I would enjoy staying up and writing and continuing my work. And I really wanted to start that again.

I started working on another story, though, it's not Brucas. Or One Tree Hill at all. In fact, I was going to swear off OTH because Season 7 just annoyed the crap out of me. (Except for Jamie. Jamie still rocks my socks.3) But, this is one story I really would like to finish. However, there's the matter of you guys, the people who read this.

Would you want me to continue? I know it's been a while and I don't blame you if you're uninterested now. But for those of you who kept tuning in and leaving me the most amazing reviews and wanted - and still do - this story to continue, I'd be more than happy to for you guys. You all were the ones who made writing this story all the more fun.

So leave me a review or send me a message on your opinion. It's greatly appreciated. :D

-Vannesa.


	16. Sneaky Doesn't Work

**A/N:** Wow. I seriously didn't think that many would have reviewed or even remembered. But thank you all so much! :D Anyways, here we go and continue with the story. I'm going to provide a summery below for those of you who don't feel like re-reading the whole thing. xD Don't worry. I get lazy too. Lmfao. I would've totally updated sooner but this weekend was, well, I hung out with my crush on Satuday for three hours and after that I felt like I was on Cloud Nine. -dreamy sigh; OKAY, ENOUGH OF THAT. -stops before I gush all over again;

**Summery:** So, so far, we've found out the following: Peyton left Lucas at the alter before they got married. Lucas, of course, falls into his depressed/broody mode he always goes into. Brooke manages to get him out and cheer him up a bit before they get a call and find out Peyton's in the hospital. We find out that Peyton's gotten hit by a car and she ended up losing the baby she was carrying. Peyton reveals that she cheated on Lucas with Jake for a month before the wedding. Lucas being the last to find out. Brooke and Lucas have a fight in Naley's home before both storming out. Brooke starts to realize she's still got feelings for Lucas and Lucas somewhat does. Then after an argument in Brooke's store, the two end up outside in the rain and revealing their feelings to each and they get together. Back at Lucas' place, they agree to keep their relationship a secret for now over a dinner of Oreos and milk.

**Last Time:** _He smiled widely and took my hand that he hadn't let go of yet, brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. "I love you too, Brooke Davis." He said and I grinned widely, as wide as I ever have even if I already knew he loved me and then I continued eating my cookies, enjoying him there. Enjoying the fact that we were together, and above all, enjoying that he loved me. I finally had my Prince Charming back and no one could take him away from me again._

**Sneaky Doesn't Work**

**Brooke's POV:**

It's been almost a month since Lucas and I started our relationship - again. A whole month of stolen kisses, cherished moments, and secret meetings. Why secret, one may ask? Well, Lucas and I decided it was best to keep our status a secret. And why the reason for that? It was too early. Too early to let everyone know about us. And by everyone, I mean Peyton. Yes, Peyton's my best friend, but this is Lucas. This is the man we fought over for years. The man who stole both our hearts. The one who was about to marry Peyton and have her kid. That is, before she wound up in the hospital and the baby was gone.

Yeah, it was best not to tell.

Of course, I was dying to tell Haley. Haley may not be Peyton, but she was still a close friend. When we were roomates, we got closer. So close that I felt comfortable telling her things I couldn't tell Peyton. And I probably would've ran to her house after the first night we spent together - and no, nothing of the sexual matter happened. I was surprised too. - but I just couldn't. Not only was she was one of my best friends, but she was also Lucas' best friend. I knew she wouldn't be happy to find out we haven't told her yet, but I couldn't risk her knowing. She'd probably tell Nathan and then he'd probably end up spilling it to Jamie and if Jamie ever saw Peyton, he'd probably spill it to her. Okay, maybe not that bad. But it was bound to get out and I wanted to be the one to tell Peyton. Not anyone else and not by letting something slip. I wanted to tell her on purpose, in person, when the time was right.

The only question was if there would ever be a right time.

The sound of my front door opening brought me out of my thoughts and aware of my surroundings. It was around three in the afternoon and I wasn't expecting anyone. I tensed before I realized it was probably just Sam getting home from school. Right on cue, the younger brunette I had taken in entered the kitchen, where I happened to be, and proceded to take something to drink out of the fridge without so much as a word to me.

"Hey, Sam." She didn't answer. "How was your day?" I tried.

"You know what I really hate?" She didn't pause to wait for an answer. "Snobs."

"Yeah. I had a pretty good day too, thanks."

Sam sighed and took a seat at the counter, placing her drink in front of her before she looked up at me. "Sorry. It's just... How did you do it?" She suddenly asked.

I knitted my eyebrows together and cocked my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"How did you survive high school? I mean, all those snobs, the jocks. All the cliques. No wonder there's such a high rate of dropouts that's increasing." I cracked a smile. High school. Wow. That seemed forever ago, didn't it? High school brought back memories. Prom - Yikes, that was a scary one -, Clean Teens, Lucas. Yeah, he was a major part there. Sam cleared her throat. "Hello? Earth to Brooke? What's with that goofy grin you got going on?"

I wiped any trace of a smile off my face and shook my head. I really should control myself. But when it came to the elder Scott, some things just couldn't be helped. Like foolishly grinning like Goofy for instance. "Nothing. You asked about high school?" She nodded. "Well, to tell you the truth, I probably was one of the snobs. Back then, I was head cheerleader and for a while, I was known as, well, a whore." Sam cracked a smile and started laughing. I chuckled and nudged her softly. "It's not funny. Anyways, that was a long time ago. I stopped my Junior year. I think I did most of my changing that year."

"How come?"

Why did I change? I think everyone knew that. That was the year Lucas joined the Ravens; the year him and Haley - along with Mouth and Skillz, somewhat - basically joined our inner rankings. That was the year everyone changed. Nathan became a better person, I stopped being a whore, Peyton started being less emo. I really don't know how much we affected the other Scott brother and his best friend considering I didn't know them then, but I'm guessing it was significant. "Because I met some people." I simply said and gave her a smile.

"People like Lucas?" Sam was smirking. My eyebrow raised.

"Yes, people like Lucas." I grinned.

"Are you seeing him?" I think I was lucky not to have gotten anything to drink or else it would've been all over the younger girl in front of me if I had. "Wha-What are you talking about?" I spluttered.

Sam smirked and gave me a knowing look. "You heard me."

I shook my head. "N-No." I stammered. "Where did you get such an idea?"

This time it was Sam's turn to raise her eyebrow. "You two may have everyone else fooled, but I see the way you two look at each other when you think no one's looking. Well, I'm looking. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone. Seems like you want this secret. But you could do a better job of sneakful glances." She commented while taking her drink and slipping off the stool. "I'm just saying." She grinned a mischevious grin before disappearing off to her room.

"I'm not seeing Lucas!" I called and that was, poorly, the only thing I could think to say.

**W.I.I.L.I.S.B.**

"Sam asked me today if we were seeing each other." I commented to Lucas later that day. After my little spat with Sam - not really a spat. More of conversation that only she really took part of while I sat there, mouth agape - I had paced around my room for a while. I had planned on calling Lucas and telling him then, but it probably wasn't a good idea. Not only was Sam good at sneaking and eavesdropping on conversations, but it wasn't _that_ important, was it? I mean, it was Sam and she had said that she would keep the secret. Even with my pathetic attempt to deny it, I was pretty sure the mini-me was already aware of what was going on around her. She seemed pretty confident, at least.

And she probably guessed my whereabouts when I had told her at seven I was heading out and not to wait up - that was an hour ago. She had given me a knowing look, a smirk, and said, "Yeah, alright." To which I responded in rolling my eyes and heading out. Girl was good because I was indeed heading to my secret boyfriend's house. He had invited me over for a dinner he was going to prepare himself. Pretty special, eh?

Lucas raised his blue orbs up at me from the tomatoes he was cutting up and raised his eyebrows. "What did you tell her?" He didn't seem too alarmed, but his shoulders did seem to tense up a bit.

"I told her we weren't." I replied shyly. I hated lying and, even if I knew Lucas was along with the plan to keep our relationship a secret, I hated to admit that I had said we weren't. "However, I think she wasn't convinced. But before you say anything," He had opened his mouth to speak - probably something about convincing her I was right. "She said she was going to keep it a secret. Of course, _I_ didn't tell her anything, but she said she would. Also, she mentioned we should be more sneaky with our glances at each other when we think others aren't looking." At this, Lucas started to chuckle and went back to cutting, which I saw as a sign that there wasn't going to be any more tension.

"You sure she said we? I was thinking she meant you." He smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" My hands placed themselves on my hips as I turned to look at him.

Lucas simply shook his head, smile on his lips, and dropped the tomatoes into the bowl that contained a salad - now complete with the red vegetables. Or were they fruit? I never really got the difference. "Nothing." He said and when he stayed quiet I thought that was all he was going to say. I began to open my mouth to talk when he spoke once more. "I'm just saying that you aren't that sneaky with your glances towards me." He shot me a grin.

I scoffed. "Me? Well it wasn't my fault that Jamie almost caught us kissing last week." We had been out to dinner with our Godson when it happened. Nathan and Haley decided they wanted to have a date and, of course, Lucas and I said we would take care of him. We had been out at Chuck E. Cheese's to let the kid have some fun. Jamie had gone off to play and when we decided he couldn't see us, of course, Lucas went and kissed me. That kiss was starting to turn into more kisses before I heard an "Aunt Brooke!" We quickly had broken apart in time because Jamie was in front of us in the next second. "I gotta go to the bathroom." And that was the end of it. Weather he saw anything or not, we still don't know.

He laughed softly and shook his head. "I couldn't help it."

"Oh sure. Because Chuck E. Cheese's is such a romantic place that you felt you _had_ to kiss me, huh? A mouse on stage singing, kids screaming, the smell of pizza in the air. Cloud Nine, right?" As much as I tried, I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"Well, with you there, yes." He gave me a cheesy grin.

I hit his arm gently but couldn't help the blush that creeped on my skin. "You're such a kiss-ass." I told him before leaning up to kiss him. He, of course, returned the kiss and soon, dinner was forgotten about. There was only the two of us. Our lips touching, my hands had gone to his neck and were going on their own accord to his hair. His hands were on my waist and back, roaming around that area. I had a feeling this was probably heading to his bedroom - if we hadn't heard an audiable gasp.

The kissing stopped but we stood right where we were. My head turned and as soon as I caught sight of who it was, my eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. I snuck a glance to Lucas and saw that his expression mirrored mine. Turning back, I tried to form words but they would come out until I finally untangled myself from Lucas.

"H-Haley. What are you doing here?"

But she didn't have time to reply because as soon as the words left my lips, I took in the other person there with her.

Peyton.

* * *

**A/N:** DUNDUNDUUUUNNNN. -le gasp; PEYTON SAW. :O Sorry if this chapter isn't as long as my other ones were. I just had to get something up and since the last chapter was a fluff, I decided against making this one a fluff one. And trust me, after my weekend, I REALLY wanted to make a fluff one. xD OKAY, THAT'S ALL.

REVIEW, PLEASE :D

I'll give wedding cake to those who do. ;D


	17. Shanking Blonde

**A/N:** AMG, I love you guys. You guys really are some of the best reviewers/fans/all other words for it, out there. Seriously. I'm not kidding you. You guys totally make my day with your reviews. :D And now, I shall continue, because I know that's what you all came here for. Not to hear me blabber on and on about things you probably don't know about. x'D

**Last Time: **_The kissing stopped but we stood right where we were. My head turned and as soon as I caught sight of who it was, my eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. I snuck a glance to Lucas and saw that his expression mirrored mine. Turning back, I tried to form words but they would come out until I finally untangled myself from Lucas._

_"H-Haley. What are you doing here?"_

_But she didn't have time to reply because as soon as the words left my lips, I took in the other person there with her._

_Peyton._

**Shanking Blonde**

**Lucas' POV;**

Peyton.

The name alone used to bring chills to my body. Used to make me feel weak in the knees and a lopsided grin form on my lips - lips that were red from kissing someone who was not Peyton. Now, now all I felt when I heard the name was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Ever since I knew what she was capable of, ever since she lost _my_ child, ever since I realized I never loved her, the name Peyton brought no feelings anymore. Well, except for in this moment. In this moment, a surge of different emotions overwhelm me. Confusion as to why she was there. Anger as to why she was in my house as well as interupting my time with Brooke. And annoyment for all of the above.

"What the hell are you doing here?" The words flowed out of my mouth before my brain processed what I was actually saying. But this was _my_ house, _my_ territory. She had no right to be here. She lost that right and would never be gaining it back the day she walked out that church. I saw the brief look of hurt flash across her face but that didn't faze me anymore.

Brooke, however, tensed at my side and shot me an incredulous look and tensed beside me that I noticed out of the corner of my eye. I refused to look away from this blonde - pardon my language - bitch. She was psycho. Who knows, the moment I turn away she could pick up a knife and shank the life out of me. I didn't want to die just yet. Not by her hand. How scary would that be?

"Lucas," Brooke scolded in a whisper. She nudged me with her elbow in my stomach but I barely noticed it. "Stop it."

Peyton ignored Brooke's whispering altogether because her gaze rested on me. I could feel her taking in my posture. The way I was holding Brooke close to me, which had changed since I had seen Peyton come in. Instead of holding her in a passionate embrace, my arms had tightened almost unconciously and in a protective manner. "What is this?" She whispered.

Did she just say that? Did she really just say THAT? "Nothing of your business." I replied curtly. "As I recall, you were the one who ended things by running out of the church. Or wait, it was before that, wasn't it? Back when you cheated on me. Yeah, that's _exactly_ when things were ended. Or perhaps you fucked someone before you did Jake."

"Lucas." Brooke's scolding voice broke through, this time louder. "Stop it. Now." I glanced down and caught a glimpse of her expression as she turned to face her-supposed-best friend. It was a face I never wanted to see on Brooke. Ever again.

Her face was twisted with guilt and pain. Pain. I felt as if my stomach were in knots just looking at her.

"Peyton, let me explain." Brooke started.

"Explain what, Brooke? Explain that you've been sleeping with Lucas after you known and always have known how I feel about him?" Her voice held an accusing tone.

"Don't you pin the blame for this on her." I growled. No way was going to talk that way to Brooke. Not in my house, not ever. "If anyone's to blame here, Peyton, look in the mirror. Now, I want to know what you're doing in my house and who gave you an invitation to come in."

"I-I did." Haley's voice broke through for the first time and I finally let my eyes rest on her since she had come in. My eyes widened and I was about to start blaming her, but the tone she held, well, I couldn't be mad at my best friend. Her voice was small, quiet, and embaressed by her actions. "I-we were outside. We knocked three times but no one answered. So I thought you just weren't answering or-or something. I let myself in and Peyton followed." She bit her lip. "I'm sorry, Luke." Haley was smart. She could tell from what she had seen exactly my position with Brooke and by the way I had spoken to Peyton how I felt about her. "Peyton was coming to talk to you and I was coming for support. We just didn't know you'd have...company." Her eyes slid over to Brooke quickly before meeting mine again apologetically. I knew she was dying inside for questions about all this, but I also knew she was feeling horrible for bringing all this un-needed drama her.

I distangled myself from Brooke and took a step forward. Right in-between my brunette beauty and the blonde twig from hell. "It's fine." I only said before looking at Peyton again. My eyes narrowed and I raised my chin. "You and I have nothing to talk about. There is nothing more between us. We've been over for a long time now. So, please, take your scrawny ass and leave my house before I make you."

Peyton scoffed and glared at me. "Lucas, how-how could you?" I could see her eyes getting glassy and hazy. "You-you said you loved me. You said-"

"Yeah. You also said I'd be the only one in your life."

She shut up at that.

"Leave, Peyton. Now."

She wanted to argue. She wanted to convince me she was wrong. She wanted to tear Brooke's eyes out. All that I could tell from her look. But instead, she let out a huffed breath, sounded like she was holding back a sob - pathetic - and stomped her foot before turning on her heel and turning back the way she came.

Then, all that was left was a silence.

**W.I.I.L.I.S.B.**

"Lucas, really. I am so, so sorry I brought her here. I thought-I thought you were alone." This must have been the hundreth time Haley had apologized and I couldn't help but just smile slightly at her and shake my head.

"Haley, stop. Really. It's fine. You didn't have any bad intentions. I know you."

"I tried to stop her from coming in. I did. When you didn't answer - and now I know why - I told her we should leave but she burst the door open and I came in front of her to stop her and then... Well, you know the rest."

I nodded.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me though." She pouted, crossing her arms, clearly trying to veer away from the subject of Peyton. We were all seated on the couch, my dinner left forgotten in the kitchen. Haley was on one couch, Brooke and I on the other.

Brooke smiled gently, sadly, apologetically. She - being closest to Haley - leaned forward and took Haley's hand in hers. "And I'm really sorry, Hales. We wanted to tell you, really. It's just, it didn't seem the right time. Everything just happened so fast. I really am sorry."

"How long as it been going on?"

Brooke turned to look at me and bit her lip. I nodded slightly before she turned back to look at our friend. "A month or so."

Haley's jaw dropped. I didn't want it to go on this longer, but it had. "A month?"

We nodded.

She was silent for a moment I found myself holding my breath. Haley had been my best friend since I could remember. Everything we would tell each other. Every single little thing. And something this big, I kept from her. I found myself wondering if she was mad. She couldn't be mad. She was Haley. Then again, for that reason she very well could be mad. We were wrong to hide it but it was the only thing at the moment that was best, right? "Haley?"

"I was just wondering," she started, her gaze looking down for a long moment before bringing it back up to us. "Does that mean that Jamie was right when he said he thought he saw his Aunt Brooke and Uncle Lucas kissing at Chuck-E-Cheese?"

Oh. I guess he had found out.

* * *

**A/N:** Mkay, I know. This sucks. x.x I just wanted a chapter up to move it along. And I know, the lack of action with Peyton is disappointing and the rest of the chapter is boring. But, I promise, it WILL get better. I was just too happy to write something too depressing or upsetting. -coughcough; But still, review? :DDD


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